What is pain?

My dictionary puts it this way:

>>Pain is the feeling of great discomfort you have, for example when you have been hurt or when you are ill.

>>Pain is the feeling of unhappiness that you have when something unpleasant or upsetting happens.

You may be wondering where I'm getting at with this talk about pain. Considering the fact that right now almost everyone on social media is bubbling on and on about their happy holidays and the fun times, compounded with reflections amassed from 2012. It's everywhere actually; from the television to radio...kinda cliche if you ask me, so I'll just conform but with a slightly different approach.

As I pored through the pages of this addictive novel I've been reading, I let my mind wander a bit. I thought about the past 12 months, the highs and lows of my life and those of my loved ones; some memories brought shudders, others engulfed my frame with a wave of nostalgia. But one thing struck me in all this. During the times I underwent bouts of pain (i.e. physical, emotional...), my faith and resolve to pull through was pushed to a corner and challenged to the max. Human beings dread pain. I'm not talking about the cancer type of pain, that's different and rather sensitive altogether. What I'm referring to here is the type of pain that life swings our way on a daily basis; death, disappointments at work/school, broken friendships and relationships, emotional baggage...the list is endless.
Different people deal with these in different ways. While some find themselves a little too inebriated time and again, others choose less toxic outlets such as seeing therapists, talking about it and praying. But lets just face it, seldom do people resort to taking the latter option as a means to dealing with pain. More often than not, we shut up, keep it all inside and smile to the world as if everything's A-Okay! But guess what?

You can fool the world, but you can't fool yourself.

This song by Faith Evans:
If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't take away the pain coz I know it made me who I am...

Before I veer off the track, let me bring the point home. When we undergo experiences that thrush us out of our comfort zones, we are challenged to take risks and tread on paths that we may or may not like. Think about pain. It distracts you from thinking and feeling like you always do, simply because it takes you to an unfamiliar terrain and a not-too-pleasing level of discomfort. When life is smooth and the challenges that often accompany it are absent, we are tempted to become comfortable and take things for granted. Pain is one thing that sure puts things into perspective. At least that's how I choose to look at it. For instance, as Christians, in many cases we find our intercessory antennas on high alert when things are thick. True or true? Pain is a constant reminder albeit unpopular, of our human nature. Pain knows no social status, age, sex, race and any other label which human beings stamp on each other. It hits hard, any day, anytime, anywhere. In simple terms, pain is inevitable. However, how you to choose to react is all within your control. If you choose to end your life as a means to end your pain, so be it; but remember there's a consequence. If you choose to keep it all inside, do so, but ensure it does not eat you up or pore into your everyday activities. All in all, learn from it, and make the right choices henceforth.

Nevertheless, you do not have to wait for something big and painful to happen for you to take action in your life.

Don't wait to lose a loved one in order to realize the importance of showing love everyday.

Do not wait for disappointments to teach you lessons, without which you could have learnt.

Don't wait for problems to bombard your way in order to get down on your knees in prayer.


In short, what have I learned from 2012? Pray. Talk. Learn. Move on.


Happy Holidays and a Prosperous 2013 <3

Draw you Near...

Well, today I woke up with a heavy heart, not knowing what to think, what to pray for anymore. These days, there's barely anything to smile about...I mean, with all the deaths happening around us, sickness, political madness, it's too much. But in the midst of all this, or any other storm you may be facing in your life, God's love and peace is there to keep you, and His love is the only thing that can illuminate your life and strengthen you.

The first song that popped into mind was Out of Eden's, Draw you near. Here are lyrics and the link to the video as well. Be blessed!

"I woke up on this morning
And misery surrounded me
And I am forced to face a day
I didn't even want to begin
God knows I'm going through it
And it's hard to imagine I can make it this time
As my sadness mounts I pray that this day will end
Cry myself to sleep and then start again

When the world loses its luster
And you're feeling sad and lonely
And you need someone to be there
In your time of need
You can turn your eyes to the heavens
And their creator's watching over you
With arms of love to hold you and draw you near

You're in the midst of heartache
Perhaps you've lost a loved one
Lost all your faith-can barely pray
For the strength you need to go on
Well, darling don't give up now
I know that inevitably this too shall pass
Trouble doesn't last always
Hold on through the pain
I believe the sun will outlast your rain..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlryPIZDowM"

The Walls of Love

First off, I'll start by apologizing for the profound silence, my semester projects have taken quite a toll on me. They've been really tough yet enjoyable in equal measure. All the same, there's this little, (okay it's not so little) issue regarding relationships, and marriage to some extent that's been on my mind for a while now, and it's about time I said something.

I know there's been this hullabaloo and endless talk over the past decade about modern-day dating and all that comes along with it. Common terms go something like, no strings attached, come-we-stay, open relationship, and that Cecile song where she says she would cook, clean, and do all those wifely duties for her man, although there's no mention of marriage anywhere in the song. Get my drift? Nonetheless, we justify these little untruths, so to speak, with the fact that we are living in the 21st century. Lies I tell you! If we claim that the moral parameters that our parents and grandparents lived in are archaic and irrelevant, then why is it that we have hearts breaking all around us everyday? Why are there so many baby mamas struggling to bring up their little ones on their own? Why are so many people being caught up in the sting of sexually transmitted diseases? Why are people finding themselves bound in painful pasts, unable to let go of former flames?

Something somewhere isn't right. And can't really put my finger on where we lost it. Anyway, not so long ago while growing up, our mums and aunties taught us young girls not to let men touch us, or we'd fall pregnant. Pregnancy out of wedlock was painted as a huge sin, which would taint a girl's destiny forever, although it's evident that this isn't always the case. There was always that one girl/guy we were told never to emulate or we'd be doomed for life. I guess this new age thinking got some of us out the box of "tradition" and "values" which were actually out to help us in the long run.

Nowadays, a great load of the content that characterizes our magazines has got to do with relationships and the juicy stuff that teases the eye. And many headlines go something like, "Why can't I find a decent man?" or "Why can't I stay attracted to the same guy/girl?" The answer is really simple in my opinion. These days, we ladies in particular make it very easy for guys to have their way with us and move on to the next conquest like nothing ever happened. Reason being, we give them benefits which are quite similar to what their married counterparts receive in their matrimonial homes, probably even more than they do. So, if a single guy is getting the same great thing from more different women, what solid reason would he have to stay committed to one? Don't get me wrong, I'm speaking from a very abstract point of view. There are some pretty good respectful guys out there, as well as money-thirsty and material-driven ladies too.

What I'm driving at is that today, it is quite rare to find romantically involved partners operating within certain boundaries. I guess, that's because we choose not to have them. Rules and boundaries are there to help us, not to punish us. For instance, soccer (the game which most male folk are so fond of)wouldn't be soccer if its rules did not exist. And that's the beauty of it. Think about walls. They set distinctions as to how far you can go, and allow some sense of privacy. I bet every human being has come across some set of rules somewhere along the journey of life. Be it in the home, school, at work, on the roads; these rules help maintain an impeccable sense of order and sanity. Therefore, if we can religiously follow rules and guidelines set by other people, why can't we implement the same in our relationships and friendships?

Please correct me if I'm wrong but I think that there is a large group of peeps out there with double standards. Serious double standards! Too many guys say that they love a girl with self-respect, standards, takes care of herself, blah blah blah, and if she's a virgin? That's a plus! However, these same people are the ones who go out there, deflower everything in a skirt then sit back and say, "I want me a good woman." Really? Hypocritical is an understatement. As my Statistics Professor once said, you think you're the bad-a** guy? Wait till you get children of your own. And you will pay for all the sins you committed as a young person. In short, to find the one, be the one.

To put things into perspective, this what I'm saying. Just because every mag and tabloid out there tells you to do something, doesn't mean you have to. So far through my own experiences (and those of others), I've learned that patience is a virtue. It pays to wait. There's also nothing as important as making peace with yourself and believing in your capability to achieve the best. If you have inner confidence and a great level of self-worth, nothing and no one will deter you from getting that which you deserve. If you want to make it big in life, it starts from the inside. You cannot afford to live an ordinary life just like everyone else. Self-discipline and boundaries in your life are things that you may need to incorporate in your every-day dealings.

With regard to what I mentioned earlier about relationships and marriage, I am convinced now more than ever that following Biblical principles and making them yours is the way to go. Just last Saturday, I attended a close-friend's wedding. The preacher gave a very realistic sermonette about marriage, and what stood out most for me is that a chord of 3 strands is not easily broken (i.e. God, you, your partner). The mistake which lots of couples make today is letting too many people in their love lives, and allowing them to run the show. Hence the importance of setting clear, distinct boundaries. She further conducted a little exercise to prove that marriage indeed does last. She asked couples who'd been married for 0-5 years to stand; 6-10, 11-15...and believe you me they were many! The oldest couple present had been married for 48 years and the man said he loved his "girl" at that time more than ever. In short, the world may tell you that there's a shortcut, but we all know that shortcuts lead to hell.

Bottomline? God, the Bible, morals. They will take you where others cannot.


~Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment~ Maxwell Maltz

The Bible and The Cell Phone

Here's a reflective piece I stumbled upon a week ago. Not quite sure who wrote it, but hope you enjoy :-)

Ever wondered what would happen if you treated your Bible like you treat your cell phone?

What if you carried it around in your purse or pockets?

What if you flipped through it several times a day?

What if you turned back to go get if you forgot it?

What if you used it to receive messages from the text?

What if you treated it like you couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if you used it when you travelled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go..."Hmmm..where is my Bible?"

Oh, and one more thing.

Unlike your cell phone, you don't have to worry about your Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.

So, what's more important? You decide!

Pick yourself up

Disappointment is inevitable, misery is optional

There are things that take place in our lives that make us question whether indeed doing the right thing is actually worth it. Just about two days ago, I had one earth-shattering terrible day. I don't think there are enough adjectives to describe the foul feeling that engulfed my being that day. There's this joke that goes around, "Dear life, when I asked 'could my day get any worse,' it wasn't meant to be a challenge." It was my mantra for that day. What's worse is when you give something your all, only for it to come crashing down in your face. It could be a project, relationship, business deal, you name it.

It is important to appreciate the diversity in other people and to recognize the fact that we are all different for a reason. We can't all be Obama or Oprah, but we are us. You are you. In order for you to make the most out of this life, you've got to embrace and appreciate who you really are - inside and outside; before you step out into the world. On that note, it is also important to note that we come from different backgrounds and no two experiences we undergo are identical. There are those of us who are outgoing, others are reserved. Some are perfectionists, others couldn't care less for detail. Some love sports, others (like me) dread it to the core. Not forgetting the lazy ones and the hardworking ones. Nevertheless, in spite of the unique variations in diversity which we hold, we should strive to do what is right and be sensitive to the feelings of others.

What am I saying? In simple terms, if you invest a certain part of your time, energy, emotions, and work into carrying out a specific task and it crumbles ultimately, don't give up. The most common among students in my opinion, happens whereby you may be working in a group and most likely, you encounter the one or two difficult individuals who may end up ruining your work and making every wad of effort you gave, plunge down to nothing. However, such circumstances shouldn't put you down. Keeping your cool when things don't go your way is one definite mark of maturity we all must learn to inculcate in our lives. If you are meticulous in what you do, don't let a little obstacle or hitch make you deviate from your core calling. Instead, invest even more effort in your next project and for sure it will pay off some day. For one, your credibility will never be tarnished, as your work will speak for itself. Secondly, winning the little wars within our minds gives us the push that we need to tackle even greater battles that may be beyond our control.
And just the other day, my ever-so-wise better half (and he appears here again!) spent quite a while drilling a simple but forgotten truth into my head, that "perfection is a mystery I would have to kill"- if I expected results and progress in my endeavors. Like I said at the beginning, "Disappointment is inevitable but misery is optional."

When things don't go your way, you have a choice. You can choose to be gloomy or put a smile on your face and move on!

Have a fruitful day, won't you?

A girl's best friend...

Saturday Afternoon: It's Man-united vs Arsenal FC; this game is too depressing as I'm a Gooner for life! Just switched to something more girly, i.e. Samantha's Bridal, *sigh* the heart feels better. My team is already 2 points less...Let's leave it at that. So I let my mind wander a little bit...

BFF, diamonds, heels, diary...the list goes on. The often overlooked yet crucial thing every girl needs is a best friend . And not just one, but most or all of the above. Women are highly expressive emotional beings, who like to talk and be heard as well. We love to cry, to binge on that mouthwatering voluptuous Galito's chicken or ultra-creamy white forest cake- depending on the nature of the craving and time of the month; and we love expressing love to those we love. Anyway, there are those things that we cannot do without and are listed below:

>>B.F.F. -Also goes by the name 'best friend forever.' This is the girl(s) who will be there for you through thick and thin. She's seen you at your worst, knows you inside out, has your little secrets at heart and would fight for you if anyone did try to hurt you. We all need that friend we can count on, besides, friends are like chocolate chips in the cookies of life; they make life a whole lot sweeter and a little less harder. All the same, instead of looking for a bff or complaining that people are just not genuine enough these days, be the friend.

>>Diamonds - Have been said to be a girl's best friend, for over hundreds of years now. And for sure they are. Of course the term 'diamonds' is an umbrella term for those shiny pieces of stone that we adorn on our gorgeous bodies every once in a while. Different women have different preferences, some like silver, others like myself love pearls (hint), and others like gold. These are the tiny but precious commodities that highlight our God-given beauty. Ever noticed how your self-esteem gets boosted once you get these on? Tip to the guys...invest in diamonds and trust me, she'll never forget you. I insist on the term 'invest' because cheap is expensive. Enough said.

>>Heels - By the way, at least Arsenal have caught on with one goal. Joy! As I was saying, heels are the one commodity in the history of mankind that have always added a touch of class, elegance and sex appeal to every woman that wore them. HOWEVER, and this I cannot overemphasize. If you can't walk in them, please please pleeease! do yourself a big favor and just leave them at home. The sore sight that hits my eyes every time I see a sister struggling to move from point A to point B as if she's walking on egg-shells, sadly has become an all too common phenomenon in our society today. Nevertheless, heels are beautiful and are reserved for special occasions. Somehow whenever some of us feel depressed, the instant remedy is shopping.For heels. And this cure has proven a 99.9% success rate.

>>Diary - If you're an avid writer like yours truly, then a diary is not just a book with little sheets of paper. It's a place you can freely express your innermost thoughts, utter words you wouldn't dare mouth in public and simply be yourself, especially when you don't really wanna talk to anybody. Shame on people who read diaries that belong to others without permission, it's just plain rude and disrespectful. However, I know people who prefer to express themselves through art, songwriting, etc. So it doesn't really have to be a diary as such.

These are just some of the little things that makes us girls tick, without which life would be a whole lot boring. Can you think of any other?

Image adapted from www.stormgrounds.com

You're not Superman!

Just the other day I came across a tweet that really got me thinking. Can't quite remember the exact words but it talked about how people really try to save the world, yet Jesus did that when He died on the cross. I mean, none of us is Superman, (and we never will anyway) so why do we spend so much time carrying the weight of the world, yet we can barely carry our own? Yes, I know for a fact that there are people who care a little too much about the rest of the world and put their own happiness at bay for everyone else's sake. I know this because I am one of them. (This is self talk too by the way)

Recently, I found myself in a certain scuffle with someone close, and I found myself giving in to the other person's demands simply because I wanted to avoid arguing at all costs and honestly didn't want to leave a bad taste in the other person's mouth.
But thinking about it objectively, we tend to believe that being a tad too courteous is done in selfless, humble faith and is the right thing to do anyway. However, there is a very distinct line between being selfless and a doormat.

A doormat will let people walk all over them, allows others to dictate their lives and their happiness depends on other people. A selfless person on the other hand genuinely cares about others and sacrifices alot for the their sake. Nevertheless, a selfless person also knows their boundaries, which lines should be crossed and which ones shouldn't, when to speak out and when to be silent, when to act and when to hold back; the list goes on.

In simple words, it's okay to love people, but don't allow yourself to be a walkover. Besides, the good book; in Matthew 11: 28-30 (NIV) says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

So there's your answer.

Have a fruitful day, won't you?

~Don't lose yourself while trying to hold on to something/someone who doesn't care about losing you~

Find yourself honey!

Identity. A simple 8 letter word from which so many things crop up; both good and bad. Confidence, low self esteem, homosexuality are just but a drop of the myriad of issues which swim around this "identity" term.

I'm not the shoes I wear, I'm not the clothes I buy
I'm not the house I live in, I'm not the car I drove no,
I'm not the job I work, You can't define my worth
By nothing on God's green earth My identity is found in Christ...

...Identity is found in the God we trust, any other identity will self destruct.."

Lyrics from the song "Identity" by my favorite gospel hiphop artiste, Lecrae. Man, I totally love this song! First time I heard it was a couple of years in high school, back when I was torn in between a not-so-little girl and a young woman, trying to find her niche in life. But I'll come back to this a little later.

My e-dictionary defines identity as: who you are.

Another definition goes something like: The identity of a person or a place is the characteristics they have that distinguish them from others.

Okay, truth be told, I've been rather disturbed of late. Looking around my environment, it's rather evident that there's a certain wave of peer pressure that's being deeply taking root in people. In my opinion, this stems out from a lack of sense of worth and a great tonne of insecurity. I mean, there's a class of juvenile delinquents (I dare refer to them as such) who just hang out around each other all the time like a colony of little safari ants, downgrade and insult others to make themselves feel better, and most certainly think that being louder, moneyed and "bad" makes you that guy/girl. Not cool. Truth is, we were all born alone, and for sure we will return to dust SOLO! So the next time you decide to scream out YOLO with your buddies after downing yourself into a stupor from that lethal drink, remember that.

Back to my point...(clearly I digress a lot),it really helps to know who you really are, discover what makes you tick, find your true purpose in life, and ultimately find your identity in God. Just the other day, I bumped into a strange load of information. A certain blast from my past (not a cool blast, but a terrible one,ha!) was passing word round about how this mamacita (me) was miserable and could not live without him. This person further went to trash my name and said lotsa visibly false allegations. Guess what I did? I laughed! And that was it. I mean, if trying to make a sister feel small will give you sleep at night, knock yourself out honey! Thing is, I found who I was, what I wanted what my purpose was in life and that sure did not feature some people, so I cleared the clutter and here I am today.

I love sharing my experiences coz I believe there are some people out there that may identify with them. Back in high school, I faced a lot of rejection. Not very serious stuff, but I auditioned for some top notch clubs in school and unfortunately I did not get in to any of them. Needless to say, I was crushed, torn and heartbroken. To some this may not be a big deal, but for an overweight teenage girl battling with an illness and low self esteem, it is her world. I remember that day in form one, when I was "first formally rejected," I went to a certain tree, and cried my heart out...gawsh, I'm even getting teary as I write this. The following year was even worse. But in my third year, I hit rock bottom, my grades suffered immensely, as in, my report form had seen the range of the A's, the B's upto the E's, which was the last grade by the way! In a certain term, I was third from last in my class, yet when I joined secondary school I used be top of my class.

After I'd cried the tears till I could cry no more, I got tired and turned to my Maker; who was there all along by the way. And slowly, he lifted me up and gave me meaning for life. 3 years and a couple of heartbreaks later, here I am, happier than ever and thankful for the rain, coz it made me who I am today.

In short, NEVER ever peg your happiness or life on another person. That'll leave you unhappy, miserable and disappointed in the long run. I mean, God forbid, what if they die? what if they leave you? Does it mean your life's over too? Any time you feel tempted to look down on yourself, look into the mirror, and remind yourself that you are beautiful as you are, you are alive for a reason and God above all, loves you UNconditionally!!!

So, find yourself, find your IDENTITY,and be proud of that no matter what! There is no 'you' and there will never be anyone like you ever!!!

~When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right ones a chance to catch you~

Enjoy the process

It's midnight, I am wide awake and that deeply sought-after sleep is nowhere to be found. But then again, that's what happens when you wake up at noon! (what? I'm on holiday!) Anyway, other than this vain Wendy Williams show, there really is nothing captivating to watch, despite the vast array of channels.Ironical, huh? Me thinks that tv was a whole lot better in the nineties when all we had was, The Bold and the Beautiful, The Flinstones, etc, etc. All the same I am terribly glad that the hood is quiet and I think it's because my highly inebriated neighbors must have blacked out or something..phew! Okay,, before I bore you with my detailed description of every little being in my vicinity, I'll get straight to the point. Right after I sip the very healthy vegetable juice my mama made me..(Love you mummy!!)

With reference to the title, you may be wondering what process I am referring to. I don't know about you but I tend to feel that with every stage a person finds themselves at in life, there is always some annoying pressure to move on quickly to the next. I.e, when you're through with high school, they ask, What are you doing with yourself? and no, bumming does not count as an answer. After a gruesome 4 years in a Kenyan high school, even a 2 year holiday would never be enough. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating but point is, you need to be "serious," that is, according to these kith and kin. Then enter campus. The question suddenly becomes, "Utagraduate lini?" And sure enough, you complete college. Time flies.

Before you even get to adjust to life 'out there,' they're already asking for a chunk of your salary yet you probably don't even have a job yet! You get your hustle on, make a living and enjoy your hard earned dimes. No sooner do you move out from your folks' house, than they start prying on your love life. Woe unto you if you are a lady clocking 30 and the only better half you own is your cute little poodle. They hint about marriage, introduce you to potential suitors (who are 99.9% of the time plain weird!).

The cycle continues; then one day you wake up. You're 80, your body has started caving in to old age and you realize you've wasted your life living under the expectations of other people. It's been said that "The pain of waiting is way less than the pain of regret." A very true statement if you ask me. Many a times we wanna grow up so quickly, jump to the next phase of life thinking it'll be more exciting only to realize that we missed out on the beautiful moments in our seasons, which we can never recapture. Honestly, most of the time I find myself dreaming of a happily-ever-after future and cursing the present. I guess frustration drives me to that corner and I end up etching these little scenarios in my head to make my heart feel better.

You see, of late I've been swamped with so much work; it's crazy and particularly overwhelming. So I let my frustrations known to my amazingly charming and wise beau, and his words brought things into perspective. We've got to learn to appreciate every little mountain and valley that comes our way. Of course as you get older, the obstacles get bigger, but your capacity to handle them increases as well, only if you cultivate a teachable spirit and learn to take challenges positively. It's really that simple!

Not forgetting; love who you are, remember that there is beauty in diversity and you are you for a reason. If you've ever read any of my posts you've probably figured that I am a teetotaler and not your ordinary 'Friday night out' party kind'a girl. I'd rather sit at home in the comfort of my gigantic bed with a novel and a mug of coffee. But that's just me. And I love it!!! In other words, find your style, what makes you tick and capitalize on it. Recognize the season you are in, live it out to the max and remember that the present is a gift. Make use of it, have fun, don't spend so much time and energy trying not to do wrong that you forget to do what's right...and there are consequences as well. Newton's third law of motion states that "To every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." So, whenever YOLO becomes your new mantra, remember that.

Dear Diary...

It's 6:00 a.m. and the weather outside is exceptionally gloomy. So much for the tonnes of sunshine. *sigh* It's probably for the best; the rain, that is. That sun has caused massive damage to this flawless skin of mine, ha!
So...I'm totally feeling reflective at this ungodly hour and switch on my Adele playlist. Yup! You know where I'm headed (smiles!) Okay diary, I've been thinking a lot, you know? (as always) and going down memory lane, I'm just remembering the choices I made in the past, the mistakes too and as some come back clearly in my head, all I can do is cringe! Like was that me? or did some alien invade my medulla oblongata and entire being as well? Somethings just don't add up! But that is life.
All in all, the stupid decisions I made back then taught me a lot. The experiences too gave me an insight as to what life is all about.They taught me that pain is real, heartbreak is real, death is real, sickness is real. I don't think I've ever shed as many tears as I did back then. Gotta commend this tear glands of mine, cheers man. I learnt to live through the different seasons of life and embrace each as it came.

Bittersweet. Sometimes it takes a bad experience to appreciate the good. Adele's lyrics,"...sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..." were my favorite at some point.. (how?!) yet now I barely see the logic in that 'Someone like you' song. Diary? I am now a year older, 9 away from 30. I've learnt to have a teachable spirit, to put God first above all, that friends and family can never be replaced; especially in the pursuit of dreams and careers. Case in point, if *God forbid* you passed on today, a few weeks later your employers would replace you because work must be done. But your family? friends? they would always miss you and would never replace you. So, I think investing in relationships matters more at the end of the day.Period. I've learnt to love unconditionally, to let go when need be and to be the best to those around me.
Honestly, being a young beautiful woman in her early 20's (and no, I'm not bragging!) is no walk in the park. Many men that see me wanna bed me rather than wed me. Numerous girls my age lose themselves in the bottomless pit of alcoholism, drugs and cruel hands of lust; only to lose their identities and lives ultimately. I don't wanna be another statistic, of the girl that "had it" then "lost it." It's easy to smile, wear your Gucci, apply your Elizabeth Arden makeup (which I own by the way! but do I say..)and lie to the world that you're okay. But deep down inside, it's a battle. A battle to wake up and face yet another day. A battle to dry your tears and face your fears.and all those things that threaten to tear you up inside.
NO. Being a young unmarried woman in the 21st century is not easy! But why am I alive? Surely there must be a reason. Stacy Orrico puts it clearly in a song, "...there's gotta be more to life, than chasing about every temporary high to satisfy me..." I believe there must be a great reason for my being alive. Considering the number of times I've "cheated" death (for lack of a better phrase), that reason must be a pretty good one.

Nonetheless, I believe that God created every single person on this planet for a significant purpose. It is up to us, up to me, to find out what it is and live it out for Him. Life may seem difficult at times but the good news is,there's a manual with an answer to every need and it's called the Bible. Also, most importantly, I have a Father in heaven who I can talk to anywhere, anytime, and tell Him anything. He accepts me with all my imperfections and still loves me as I am. And His love for me is the best, most genuine and perfect love there ever is and ever will be!

So my dear diary, despite the hurdles this life may pose, I can face them. I can make it and fulfill my destiny and mission on this beautiful earth. I will make it.

*Kicking away the sheets*** Off to start my day!!

Just glad I didn't...

Just saw this blast from the past, a piece I wrote during my journey of self discovery a few years ago. Enjoy!

You came my way,you promised me the world

you promised me the moon and the stars,

that you would cross the oceans for me

you declared your undying love for me

you swore to be by my side day and night

...blah blah blah...

the list was endless....



You told me how much you loved me

you said I would make the perfect wife,

no...your perfect wife,

all you wanted was me...

To me, you seemed and sounded sincere

You met me wen I had no heart;

I cared less about what you felt or thought

but the sacrifices you were willing to make

touched a soft spot in what was left of me..

...I thought twice,but I'm just glad I didn't love you..



All of a sudden,you changed so drastically-it almost frightened me,

you didn't want me anymore..

not that I did anything wrong,but you were too full of yourself,

yet too afraid..

It didn't even hurt me at all

because I didn't give any bit of me to you..

Just glad I didn't let myself fall in love with you...



Then as I journeyed through this lovely life of mine,

y'all came my way....

you asked me to join your crowd

to do what everyone else did

to ''fit in'' and walk in the shadows under which you all did...



My gut told me I shouldn't

when I chose not to walk those same steps you followed,

y'all hated me and told me that I was being self-centered

you said I was selfish and extremely egotistical

you started hating me and sidelining me...

only because I didn't do what you wanted..


With time, I learnt that there was more to life,

I found myself, I learnt to hold my own,

Like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon,

I wrestled and wriggled and freed myself from my internal battles,

I learnt to appreciate the beauty in life,

to love, to hold, to cherish, to care..

All of which I would never have known if I stayed with you.


I'm only so glad I didn't....



By Rita Kay.

(Aug '10)

WHO WILL DRAW THE LINE?

The umbrella term, ‘media’ is one that is all too familiar with the common mwananchi. It broadly refers to journalists and gatekeepers such as editors and producers, whose primary mandate is to provide citizens with information and news; which should be factual, relevant and ethical. Nevertheless, this right by the media to air and publish whatever they want has been abused over time. Therefore, the media should not be allowed to broadcast anything it wishes.

Recently, a local television station aired the Tana River killings story, and the images that were broadcast in that news item were gruesome, bloody and mentally-disturbing. Similarly, a video was uploaded on YouTube and it showed three people who were alleged to be witches, being lynched to death by a local angry mob. Every bit of the ghastly process was shown; from being beaten up thoroughly until they were burnt to mere ashes. Judging by the quality of the camera shots, you could easily decipher the fact that the video had been recorded by a professional. Needless to say, faint-hearted people like myself who watched it barely slept a wink that night, as those grotesque images were so vividly etched in my mind.

If the media is left to air anything and everything it so wishes, will it not be a surprise if ethical issues crop up? It has been said time and again that, “With freedom comes responsibility,” and this principle definitely applies to the media as well. Thus, the media has a moral obligation to present material that is true, well-crafted and ethically sound to its audience. Furthermore, it should humbly accept responsibility for any damage caused to its viewers and society at large.

All the same, a line should be drawn to answer the question, “How far is too far,” with regard to freedom of the press. However, if the media gatekeepers are solely left to draw this line, then obviously they will implement one-sided and biased policies. Likewise, if the government too is purely left to do so, it will also seek to satisfy personal own interests and motives. For that reason, a group should be formed to perform this daunting but essential task. It should cut across the social divide and comprise of credible religious leaders, media owners and gatekeepers, trade union representatives, political and human rights activists, just to name a few.

In short, every single item that is broadcast or published by the media should undergo the universal litmus test of ethics:

Ensure that it is comprehensive and factual.

What are the relevant obligations?

What are the values involved?

What are the possible consequences, i.e. who is likely to be affected and how?

If it comfortably answers all the above, then it is safe to broadcast to the public.

I will give IF and when I want!

Just before I get my point across, you should know that I am penning this down with alot of emotion in my heart, so if it lacks a sense of rationality, please bear with me.

At one point in your life, your help is likely to be sought by another party, for one reason or two and as the good book puts it, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" Nonetheless, some people take this statement a bit too seriously and almost wanna force it down your throat. Case in point: Recently, I was taking a stroll with my friend somewhere this side of the Sahara. Suddenly, someone popped up from who-knows-where asking us to donate blood and it would not cost a thing. Before we could even exhale, he further stated that there were people in hospital on the brink of death, whose very existence could be determined by our willingness to give blood. Coincidentally, my good friend and me could not donate blood for health reasons best known to us. And so we told our brother the issue and he took us on a guilt trip, outlining statistics (obviously crammed) about how important it was to give blood, save a life, etc etc. A noble cause indeed, but of what gain would it be if we gave blood then ended up needing it again due to health reasons? Needless to say, we just had to walk away in order to avoid further confrontation.

Again, I've found myself in situations whereby people literally forced me to take donation cards despite my statements that my finances were not looking too good. I love helping out where I can, and would even go out of my way to do it. But that is a choice! So when you send me text messages reminding me that I "owe you money," what kind of taste is that supposed to leave in my mouth? Get serious people!

However, the situation that pushed me to jot down this post happened a few days ago. The worst confrontation I've ever had with a friend as yet. For the sake of privacy, I will not state the gender of this person. You see, my once good pal has this business where he/she sells stuff to make that little extra buck besides pocket money. And his/her friends support him/her. This person is one sure (overly) aggressive marketer and could probably sell a fridge to an eskimo, given the chance. So on a certain day, I was tired, scorched by the Athi sun (which I think is twenty times hotter by the way) and my wallet was very very slim. I was flat broke! Get my drift? Long story short, this dear comrade convinced me to purchase his/her wares, despite my firm insistence that my core policy was never to take goods on credit. He/she reassured me that it was alright and that I could give the cash anytime (read: when I was ready). I took it, ki-shingo upande but I made it clear that I'd return if I didn't like it. And he/she was cool with that.

Fast forward: a week later, he/she calls and I'm like, ooooh, I'd totally forgotten. So I tell this person that "the item" wasn't my type. Talk about hell on earth?! He/she burst into fits of rage, claiming that I should honour my obligation, pay up ASAP and called me all sorts of names I tell you! Needless to say, like the lady I am, I sent this person their money and gave him/her a tip or two about business ethics.
No.1 - the customer is always right, even when they are wrong.
No.2 - Trust and customer loyalty do not come overnight and once broken, are difficult to rebuild.
This so-called friend left a bitter taste in my mouth and I vehemently vowed never to even consider buying anything from him/her again. At some point however, I thought I was a bit too harsh, but when other people concurred with my assertions, my heart was at rest.

At the end of the day, giving is a choice. If you have the ability, go ahead. If you can't, make it clear and stand your ground. If you've ever travelled in some of our local transport means, you may have come across the 'mobile preachers' who'll curse you to hell if you do not support their ministry with a "little token." All the same, God sees your heart, He is the ultimate judge of your actions and if you ask me, I think that is all that matters; you do not need anyone else's approval!

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact ~George Eliot

K.I.S.S.

K.I.S.S. >> Keep It Simple Stupid!!

Now before you think I'm depicting rudeness or vulgarity, just hear me out. This is a simple PR rule I came across the other day as I was carrying out my daily readings. In Public Relations lingo, the whole idea is to avoid ambiguity in everything one does. This cuts across from PR pieces, to presentations and all other activities pertaining to the work in which the practitioner may be engaged.

However, I believe that this rule should apply to every individual regardless of their career or background. For instance, in church, the preacher may have a wonderful, well-crafted message but it's effectiveness squarely lies in delivery. In other words, the fastest way to lose your congregation is to have a very lengthy sermon with vague illustrations or terminologies that beat around the bush. And this applies to all forms of communication in all avenues of life, i.e. newspaper articles, presentations, lectures, etc.

In short, when you have a message to put across to another party, keep it as simple, clear and concise as possible. Avoid using words whose meaning you're ill aware of and be conscious of your audience. For example, if your audience comprises children, tailor your message to suit them. If adults, do likewise.

It's really that simple!

Grandma told me...

Feels so great to be back! The break I took was well worth it and yours truly was able to gather lots of information and stuff to write about...so be rest assured that weighty content will be buzzing soon from this side of the Sahara.
About a fortnight ago, I took a trip upcountry, somewhere on the slopes of the mighty Mount Kenya. I went to visit my family, and particularly my aging grandma. The experience was one of a kind, I tell you. From cooking the traditional way (firewood) to being chased by irate geese around the shamba, it was quite something. From day one, I knew that this would be exciting. I boarded a shuttle from the City in the Sun at around midday, and ensured that I had all the necessary paraphernalia in check- money, earphones, flavored water, lip gloss, snacks, the list is endless, i.e. anything else you'd expect to find in a lady's handbag, especially when traveling!
It was a smooth ride although the number of accidents we saw along the way sent me into constant conversation with my Maker, just in case I didn't make it to my destination. But since I am writing this, we can safely say I made it safe and sound. Next, I boarded a taxi. Before you start thinking that it 's the fancy kind, let me make it clear that the definition of a taxi in Meru county is something shaped like a probox and carries passengers twice its capacity. Get my drift? So, as this city-bred lass maneuvered her way around the town looking for the stage, some shameless miraa-chewing men kept making passes at her, thinking she was one of the naive types, but oh well...I'll leave it at that. I boarded a taxi, alongside seven other people. Let's just say it was one uncomfortable ride, considering the fact that some of us were massively blessed in some areas! On reaching my second home, it felt good to breathe the fresh clean country air, mingle with the village folk and appreciate God's unmatched creation-the animals and beautiful surrounding.
I'll cut to the chase and share some of the precious pearls of wisdom which my only surviving grandparent shared with me:

1. Alcohol- Avoid at all costs. It's that simple. She made it clear to me that these days, so many young people were consuming alcohol and in the long run, it would send them to their graves faster than they'd ever imagine. I couldn't agree more, considering the fact that she's over 100 years old and still as healthy as a newborn. At that point it hit me that she was very bitter about the issue, as she'd seen many go down that road and messed up their lives as a result.

2. Marriage- (Funny how I came across a handful of people during my short stay there and they all had advice to give about marriage. It left me wondering if they thought I was getting married...maybe I missed that memo?!)
With regard to this, cucu told me about her experiences in life, particularly during the Maumau era, how she played a substantive role-together with other women- in taking care of the fighters and hiding them in their homes from the ruthless British soldiers. The lesson here was, marriage is both for better AND for worse. Period. She began venting on the way young people were rushing to tie the knot, only to call it quits a short while later. Also, she advised me that when I did get married, I was to respect my in-laws, come what may. That was not an option. Word!

3. Hard work- Pretty clear and to the point. There was no shortcut in life, and in order to get something, one had to work very hard and smart for it.

4. Humility- Lastly, she pointed out that it didn't matter how much success and fame a person acquired in the course of life; without humility, it was all in vain. She said it very harshly and reminded me that I should remember where I've come from and all those that contributed to making me who I am today.

Truth be told, after that eye-opening lesson,I was filled with more resolve to be the best and to live a purposeful meaningful life and impact the world.

Teen Creed

A little set of instructions I came across the other day...

Don't let your parents down, they brought you up

Be humble enough to obey, you may give orders someday

Choose companions with care: you are what they are

Guard your thoughts,
what you think, you are

Choose only a date who would make a good mate

Be master of your habits; or they will master you

Don't be a show-off when you drive,
drive with safety and arrive

Don't let the crowd pressure you,
stand for something or you'll fall for anything

~Author Unknown~

19th July, 2012...

So, yesterday was a very unique day in the rambunctious life of one Miss RKT. I took part in a simulation program held by a non-profit organization which I will refer to as organization X. What simulation basically entails is creating a make-believe disaster scenario in order for trainee volunteer workers to gain first-hand experience of what actually happens in real disasters. The storyline in this case was that there was a certain Islam-dominated country that was bombarded with internal civil unrest, thus many had to flee and seek refuge in another country, which on the other hand was largely Christian. This is where my colleagues and I came in. We were acting as refugees in this neighboring country; Organization X stepped in to offer relief aid in terms of food and medical services.

The role I was assigned was to act as a heavily expectant woman who was in pain and on the brink of giving birth. In the same "clinic" in which I was stationed, there were those who had been shot, others brutally raped while the rest had an array of serious wounds and diseases, most of which were communicable.
Acting out this part gave us all a somewhat flimsy depiction of how it felt to be a refugee. The hospital for one, was understaffed, ill-equipped and countless journalists came to interview us, some with little regard for our pain and only selfishly aiming to get a story to tell the world. It was a bit scary at first-getting into character, but as soon as I got the hang of it, it seemed to be a walk in the park. At some point I remember feeling so helpless as I shouted and screamed for help, yet no one seemed to care. Sadly, that's the situation in many refugee camps and even in hospitals in our society today.

Nevertheless, we had a debriefing session with the Communication Directors and they congratulated us on making the scenario seem so real and bringing to life in a vivid yet humane way. In turn, we got to give them feedback regarding how the journalists and volunteer workers behaved, which we did explicitly and in a candid fashion.
All the same, when the day came to a close, I was tired beyond reason but let my mind wander a bit as I reflected on the day's events. The main thing that struck me was in regard to ethics in journalism and the extent to which our very own journalists uphold them. A quick look at the papers today (figuratively) reveals just how little regard many journalists have for humanity and ethics in general. Grisly images showing human beings like you and I in dire need, grace the media a little too often. Some justify this argument by claiming that it is their obligation to show the world the situation as it is. It is indeed true that the first obligation a journalist has is to the truth, then to the citizens. However, other considerations should be put into play;for instance, if a photo is to be published, showing an accident and seriously injured people, how is the family of the affected person supposed to feel? Furthermore, when people have been bereaved, we sometimes get to see journalists rushing to ask questions in a bid to get a story for their bulletins; in spite of the shock and trauma a person may be undergoing.

This reminds me of a journalist, who sometime back took a picture showing a thin, emaciated and malnourished child, with a voluptuous vulture behind the child. That image moved the world to tears, but sadly the child was eaten was eaten by the monstrous scavenger. Subsequently, many poured out their solidarity and support to those dying of hunger, while others criticized the journalist and asserted that as a human being, he should have helped the child out first and foremost. Needless to say, his conscience must have eaten him up inside, as he subsequently ended up taking his own life.
Issues revolving around ethics and media still continue to be argued time and again. However, before one makes any ethical/moral decision, the following considerations (which I picked up from my ethics class) must be made:

-Study the details, understand them and get the facts right.
-What are the relevant obligations?
-What are the values involved?
-What are the possible consequences; i.e. who is likely to be affected and how.

When all said and done, my advice to you is to exercise ethics in your decisions, profession and everyday life. Let us make this society a better place to live in for ourselves and the generations to come.

A person educated in mind and not in morals is a menace to society
-Juanita Kidd Stout

The 7-letter word...

*sigh* I've been putting off this topic for a while now but oh well, guess it's about time I talked about it. The dreaded 7-letter word for anyone in a happy, loving relationship. Yes, you got it right, "break-up" it is. The dictionary definition for this "the act of finishing or coming to an end because the people involved decide that it is not working successfully." Pretty succinct and to the point.
Having undergone a couple of them myself not so long ago, I understand the pain, drama, tears and emotional turmoil involved. The most important thing to note however is that no two break-ups are ever the same; and the all-too-common cliche, 'What don't kill you makes you stronger.' I find myself questioning, what it is that turns two happy smitten lovers into sworn enemies overnight? It's funny how at the prime of most relationships, there is so much joy, lovey-dovey feelings and the certain belief that you'll both weather the storms, the rain and the rainbows.

Nevertheless, Some relationships work, some don't. Actually many do not work out, and can be attributed to numerous factors such as infidelity, money issues and the realization that those they saw to be somewhat "perfect" are quite the opposite of what they reckoned them to be.
Nonetheless, I will give general tips I've learnt along the way on how to move on after a break-up with a loved one.

1. Honor how you feel- It is very important to let yourself realize that you are hurting and it's okay to let it all out. Whichever method you need to use to vent- do it. You can cry, talk, write, scream...Let it all out. Many people try to cover up their pain with the "I'm okay" facade, but it tears you apart inside eventually.
I remember undergoing a break-up which left me in so much pain, and I would cry myself to sleep for weeks on end. However, God, my family and closest friends helped me up greatly and saw me through that tough phase of life, which eventually came to an end.

2. Avoid the other person- Okay, people have differing views on this but for me, I don't believe that ex's can go back to being friends again. Maybe as acquaintances but not bosom buddies. Well, of course that squarely depends on the circumstances surrounding your break-up, though in most cases, it makes it harder for you to move on. So I feel that if you want to move on? Keep away from him/her or things that remind you of them, where possible.

3. Remember that it's a passing cloud- If it wasn't meant to be, for sure it will not work out. It may seem painful at the time, but hold on to the hope, no matter how faint; that it'll be okay and the pain will go away eventually. The sun for sure will outlast your rain only if you let it.

4. Forgive- A very difficult thing to do but has countless benefits once you choose to do it. I cannot over-emphasize on the importance of letting go of a "former" loved one. Biblical principles teach that forgiving an adversary is like heaping burning coals on the other person's head. Simply, they expect you to treat them with animosity but when you do the contrary, you save yourself a lot of anguish and emotional burden.
This doesn't go without saying that definitely at one point you will feel angry at the other person, but just do not let that anger last. Also, resist the urge to revenge no matter how tempting it may seem. It's been said over and over that vengeance is like taking a glass of poison and expecting your enemy to die. Enough said.

5. Do something new- it could be a new hairdo, shopping (for shopaholics like myself), work out...find the one thing that tickles your fancy; is out of your comfort zone and exploit it to the maximum. Believe you me, you will feel much better and you'll realize that there's so much more to life only if you open your eyes to this realization.

6. Lastly and most importantly, Pray- Put your trust in God and realize that it is only He who has the power to heal and give peace. My Biblical backing for this is the verse that says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

As I conclude, I'd like you to know that if you are going through a tough time, remember that it will fade away, find your solace in Christ and for sure he will see you through. I did it and have never regretted one bit!

Closest Girlfriends...

Dedicated to my closest girlfriends...I love you all!

Okay,the time now is 1229h. I'm currently doing some research on media ethics and nothing seems to be coming through...#frustration! So I decide to let my highly imaginative mind wander a "little" bit. Going to my archived photos, I see awesome crazy pics of my friends, family and I. And the walk down memory lane begins...

Enter FNN. She's one amazing, absolutely hilarious and loyal friend. Besides being two years my junior, she's the one person outside my family I've known the longest. I'm not talking months but since the mid-nineties ('96 I think?) She's more like the younger sister I never had, and our strong friendship actually cemented the relationship between my parents and hers. Almost all my childhood photos have both of us together somewhere therein, and boy, do I miss those days! The events I'll forever cherish were the birthdays, swimming outings, and the day we sang at her uncle's wedding. I'm feeling tempted to post some incredibly incriminating pics...hmmm, I'll decide. All in all, the main attributes I learn from FNN are: her ever cheerful personality, good taste in fashion (ten nil hapo), her deep love for God and loyalty as a friend. Even though we're all grown up now, the friendship is still rife and I thank God for her everyday!

Then there's SNM. Also goes by the name bff... We met in high school, the one with the flyover just near city center? Right! You must have figured it's alias is Pangoe. We were never really that close, despite sharing a class (though we did talk quite a bit). However, as soon as we stepped out of the prison gates and smelled the air of freedom (kidding!), the connection just seemed to grow exponentially with each passing day. Within no time, we were always hanging out together like conjoined twins and loving every moment of our youth. Even when Mr.Man came, swept yours truly off her feet, then subsequently broke her heart, SNN came to my rescue, wiped them tears off my visage (haven't used that word since Std.8) and proved to me that she would always be there for me. And we've both had a couple of them Mr.Men, but the friendship still stands very much unfazed - despite the distance. We have had so many memorable moments together and have seen each other through the best and worst of life. I definitely adore the sleepovers; characterized by hours and hours of endless stories, laughter and tears. And how coincidental is it that we are both studying PR and print media?! I could go on and on but all I can say is that I admire SNM's positive outlook towards life, outgoing personality, blondness (*ahem* It's mutual), undying friendship and honesty...yup, she will tell you the truth whether you like it or not. We definitely need more SNM's around!

Next, we have SKM. We also met in the blue institution, and she is known by many as my "school mum." I've got to admit that the first time I met her, I really liked her. Her tone of voice however, commands respect and many view her as being too tough and serious. We also did get along quite well. She oriented me into high school life. We did have fights tantamount to the infamous world wars. Thank God they were very short lived and soon as we made up, we would laugh about it like it was nothing. I miss the days when we were roommates; more so bunkies... I remember the year '08 was the worst I've ever had in my entire twenty years on this earth. Everything seemed to be going downhill in my life; spiritually, emotionally, academically, health wise- I was really sick. Nevertheless, SKM was there for me through it all, even when I faced opposition from the entire school as a C.U. official. Life was tough, but I remember SKM was always there to listen to me cry and pour my heart out. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes... Up until this day, SKM and I still share a bond so unique and I love her patience, honesty (she speaks her mind clearly, no doubt!) and her unparalleled wisdom. Period.

Moving on, GS comes into the picture. Another friend I met in prison... (it sounds funny in my head!)Right from the moment we stepped into the institution smelling like we'd robbed school outfitters, GS and I clicked. She's one of a strong character and this greatly put many off. We both shared a passion for words- writing and poetry. Singer, actress, poet? fits her description wholly. We shared a prison cell (classroom,haha) and had many mutual friends. During our 4-year sentence at the institution, we had many high and low times. The lows were definitely more than the highs but glad it's all in the past. I must admit that at some point our friendship underwent a rough (very) patch and I wasn't exactly the best friend to her. GS's resilience however was something that made me realize that true friendship takes work, commitment and sacrifice and no one can destroy your friendship unless you let them. GS is one who had to endure me ranting and raving about my endless high school crushes (I can't believe I said some things) and we did have lotsa boy talk, shared our thoughts, dreams and fears. I guess it's these little things that saw us through the tough sentence till the day we tasted freedom. It was pretty cool hanging out with GS and the girls the other day. I was reminded of her artistic self (even in dressing,eish!), her humor which is on a class of it's own, reliability and encouraging spirit. You rock GS!

Finally, there's CNN. I could write a book about her. Where to start?! from the beginning, duuh! Okay, here goes...we met in August 2010, at the gates of paradise (Campus) when we were as fresh as the greens in Gakoromone Market (Meru town, haha), maybe that's why they called us freshmen :) How did we get to know each other, you may ask? Well, we were in the same orientation group and that's how we got around to talking. From then on, we turned out to be bosom buddies till this day. Fast forward to the past few months, we ended up sharing a presidential suite(room) and many interesting experiences as well. CNN is the one person I'll forever give mad respect, for enduring my endless outbursts of annoying mood swings and emotional roller coasters. Most were extended to her (unconsciously of course) as a result of the stress caused to yours truly by one Mr. X. However, she was always there for me and lent a helping hand even without me asking. One thing about CNN I'll forever appreciate was the way she extended her support for me during the period I lost both my grandparents, especially during my birthday period. On top of all that, she is one mature, self-respecting and God-fearing lady, with a maturity so rare in young people today. CNN is an amazing friend who never fails to keep me in check and is one of the few people that accept correction and is tremendously slow to judge. Memorable moments? They are numerous, but the Dalafe dinner has got to be the best so far. One more thing? She is smart and easily reads between the lines. Mad love CNN!

So, there you have it. A little appreciation for my closest and most influential girlfriends. All of whom I love, respect and appreciate so dearly.
The time is now 1409h and my tummy is making so much noise, it's almost echoing in the entire library. I've got to go devour that scrumptious spaghetti I made last night...yummy!!

Have a delightful weekend!



A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down - Arnold H. Glasgow

A sinner's simple prayer

"Here I am again dear Lord, I'm calling on your name, I've done this many times before but this time it's not the same...I only came to say, I love you Lord..."

A prayer I've made so many times yet I keep finding myself descending my self-made bottomless pit. It's like I'm searching for something to fill this void in the life of me...And I keep running away from you, yet you always catch up with me. I acknowledge Lord, that nothing or no-one can replace your place in my life. I'm sorry, very sorry and ashamed for this sin that so easily entangles. I don't care about "having-fun-the worldly way" anymore. All I wanna do is serve you in the life you'll call me to. True, being your child calls for sacrifice, self-denial and total obedience to you. Not many envy this lifestyle, but Lord? I choose your way. I'm tired of living recklessly and feeling all empty inside, furthermore, without you.
As I utter these words in all humility, I am beginning to experience a calm wave and peace wash over my mind, heart, body and soul- something I've been longing for all my life. Material things, books, treasures-all these are meaningless. Only you can sustain my life. I now surrender my all to you.

"Take my life and let it be,
consecrated Lord to thee,
Take my moments and my praise
let them flow in ceaseless praise..."

From this day on Lord, I give myself wholly and completely to you. My thoughts, my feelings, my desires, my emotions, my will, my energies, my passions_ my EVERYTHING.
All I need is you Lord. Come and make my heart your home; and Lord? help me hold on to you ALWAYS. Saturate my soul and mind dear Lord, help me be sensitive to your spirit and do your will all the days of my life.

Amen.

From your loving daughter/son________

Life oh life...

Well,well, well,it's been quite a while since I penned something down. The recent past has been rather turbulent for me...spiritually, mentally, emotionally. However, all in all I thank God for the refinement process He's taking me through. Gold doesn't become shiny and pure overnight; it undergoes a thorough purification process, whereby all the impurities are shed, resulting in a high value substance that's adorned and admired by many. In the same way, I like to think of our lives as an intricate course, whereby the trials and temptations of this world form part of our fine-tuning process. The actions and decisions we make determine how we turn out ultimately.

On that note, I intend to share my journey with you and hope we will be able to learn from each other. In my subsequent posts, I will zero in on issues and topics that are of great sensitivity and controversy in our society today; particularly in the church. These include: relationships, purposeful living, sexuality, tithing and commercialization of the church, among others. All views are welcome and greatly appreciated.

Do have a blessed week ahead and may the grace of God be upon you.






You can stand tall without standing on someone; you can be a victor without having victims. -Harriet Woods

More to life

So I've had this terrible week but tried my best to smile through it all. Thank God my parents named me names that have an aura of positivity engrained therein; attributes that have stuck since childhood and how I pray they'll never depart (never-ending joy and tremendous self-worth). Sometimes, things take place in life and you wonder if you have it in you to rise above it all and be stronger than ever. It's particularly harder when people criticize you, alongside the decisions you make, not knowing the intricate nature of the struggles you may be undergoing. All they've gotta do is step in your shoes, walk a mile in them, and maybe, just maybe, they may see how hard it is to hold back tears and fake a smile...

Nonetheless, I am so glad to have Christ in me. He gives me joy, strength and a calm like no other even in the midst of raging adversity. Lyrics from songbirds like Francesca Battistelli bring this love of God richly and artistically. One of my favorite goes like this..

"...there's a joy inside I can't contain
but even perfect days can end in rain,
and though it's pouring down
I see you through the clouds
shining on my face..."

Another favorite by Carrie Underwood that always uplifts my spirits:

"...Jesus take the wheel,
take it from my hands,
coz I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go, so give me one more chance,
save me from this road I'm on.."

When all is said and done, it's important to realize that there is so much more to life than the usual day-to-day pressures and challenges. God didn't promise us that there wouldn't be hard times; we're all susceptible to trials and temptations, but he does guarantee His genuine & everlasting peace and grace always. In short, whenever circumstances seem to get the better of you and threaten to bring you down, turn it around and let this, fuel your determination to make it...

~The purpose of life is a life of purpose~

Seriously??

Lately, I feel that there has been a conspiracy in the universe to tick off Thakura's "little" princess..i.e. me. There are a few things that go unspoken but obviously common sense is not common to all. For instance, a couple of days ago, I was working on a group assignment alongside my fellow students. Some did not even have the courtesy to show up but that was not the problem. As a concerned leader, I sought to find out if they were okay but again, they did not bother to respond. (Seriously, how were some people raised?) Anyway, as if that was not enough, a day to the deadline, one had the nerve to incessantly keep my phone ringing and buzzing with text messages in the name of seeking my help...Hello??? You don't just come waltzing into my space interrupting my me-time, yet expect me to be at your beck-and-call at your convenience. That's just pure disrespect. This got me thinking how we as human beings tend to lack respect for each other, and take a lot for granted. For instance, one great universal African menace (I dare refer to it as such) is punctuality; or lack thereof. It goes without saying, that if a meeting or gathering is scheduled to take place at a certain time, especially if informal, the expected time of arrival automatically would be an hour later. Same goes with dates, functions and other events... I believe that if people truly do respect each other, somethings would come automatically, such as observing time and being mindful of feelings. All human beings have feelings and they should treat each other the way they'd want to be treated. Even the Bible lucidly states that it is imperative to do unto others what you would want done unto you. That said, hope you're inspired to be the best you can be and to respect others in spite of the treatment you get in return. ~Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer~

Beautiful Disaster...

The title, yes creative...but I plagiarized it from Kelly Clarkson's "Beautiful Disaster" ballad. A sweet tune I tell you, talks about a lovelorn girl expressing the darkness in her heart because she feels her prince is wallowing in a world that's threatening to tear them apart. However, she holds on to the pain, tears and laughter and bears it for so long, in the hope that things will look up someday. As Kelly churns out this smooth ballad, you can almost feel the emotions and pain in her voice.
I can't help but think, how different are we from that lovelorn girl? How many times do we hold onto things or people that we love, yet know all too well that these lead to a bottomless pit of self-destruction? As I reflect upon Kelly's deep lyrics, I am reminded of the greedy hyena story, which I believe most of us encountered at some point in our lives..the story simply talks about a hyena who received invites to two parties which were taking place simultaneously. Unfortunately they were located in villages that were far apart from each other and he, being ambitious enough thought that he could attend them both. The roads leading to both villages branched from each other and hyena tried to walk on both paths simultaneously but fell apart and died, hence the swahili proverb, "Njia mbili zilimshinda fisi"
It's funny how many similarities we have with this "fisi", in a subtle kind of way though. The reason I say this is that there are times in life that people clutch on to things n people so tightly, only seeing the surface beauty,but the real disaster comes when what we thought to be so beautiful crushes us and makes almost want to fall apart and break down because of all the pain, disappointment and misery.
Lesson? Look beyond the present, see the bigger picture and hope for the best. Be happy, live right and do everything it may take to make the world a better place. Above all, strive to please God in all you do, and though there may be rainy days, the joy inside you will overflow and the calm he gives cannot be found from mortal man or inanimate things of the world...when all is said and done, "Beautiful Disasters" will be things of the past!!!

...Diary of a lone soul (1)...

Always looked at the stars at night, all alone, wishing I could have someone to share this spectacular moment with..the loneliness killed me slowly inside, couples madly in love all around me, tales and stories of love rent the atmosphere..doing nothing but etching the solitude into the deepest corners of my heart...Nonetheless, I am my own best company, I make me mad, I put a smile on my face, I tell myself what few are too proud or scared to admit to themselves,,that I am beautiful and worth more than material things or the wealth of this world..

I also look around and see hearts breaking all over, the wasted tears spilled over an illusion called love;or is it lust? This makes me glad with the person I am and proud of the great relationship I've got with myself!
Until the day am gonna find my knight in shining armor, the one who'll take the away the misery carved so deep in my soul and put a smile on my round shapely face,the one who'll make me proud to be in his life, the one who'll treat me like such a precious queen till everyone turns green with envy; until the day I meet my prince, I'm gonna wait and have a blast with the three best people in my life: me, myself and I!!!