*sigh* I've been putting off this topic for a while now but oh well, guess it's about time I talked about it. The dreaded 7-letter word for anyone in a happy, loving relationship. Yes, you got it right, "break-up" it is. The dictionary definition for this "the act of finishing or coming to an end because the people involved decide that it is not working successfully." Pretty succinct and to the point.
Having undergone a couple of them myself not so long ago, I understand the pain, drama, tears and emotional turmoil involved. The most important thing to note however is that no two break-ups are ever the same; and the all-too-common cliche, 'What don't kill you makes you stronger.' I find myself questioning, what it is that turns two happy smitten lovers into sworn enemies overnight? It's funny how at the prime of most relationships, there is so much joy, lovey-dovey feelings and the certain belief that you'll both weather the storms, the rain and the rainbows.
Nevertheless, Some relationships work, some don't. Actually many do not work out, and can be attributed to numerous factors such as infidelity, money issues and the realization that those they saw to be somewhat "perfect" are quite the opposite of what they reckoned them to be.
Nonetheless, I will give general tips I've learnt along the way on how to move on after a break-up with a loved one.
1. Honor how you feel- It is very important to let yourself realize that you are hurting and it's okay to let it all out. Whichever method you need to use to vent- do it. You can cry, talk, write, scream...Let it all out. Many people try to cover up their pain with the "I'm okay" facade, but it tears you apart inside eventually.
I remember undergoing a break-up which left me in so much pain, and I would cry myself to sleep for weeks on end. However, God, my family and closest friends helped me up greatly and saw me through that tough phase of life, which eventually came to an end.
2. Avoid the other person- Okay, people have differing views on this but for me, I don't believe that ex's can go back to being friends again. Maybe as acquaintances but not bosom buddies. Well, of course that squarely depends on the circumstances surrounding your break-up, though in most cases, it makes it harder for you to move on. So I feel that if you want to move on? Keep away from him/her or things that remind you of them, where possible.
3. Remember that it's a passing cloud- If it wasn't meant to be, for sure it will not work out. It may seem painful at the time, but hold on to the hope, no matter how faint; that it'll be okay and the pain will go away eventually. The sun for sure will outlast your rain only if you let it.
4. Forgive- A very difficult thing to do but has countless benefits once you choose to do it. I cannot over-emphasize on the importance of letting go of a "former" loved one. Biblical principles teach that forgiving an adversary is like heaping burning coals on the other person's head. Simply, they expect you to treat them with animosity but when you do the contrary, you save yourself a lot of anguish and emotional burden.
This doesn't go without saying that definitely at one point you will feel angry at the other person, but just do not let that anger last. Also, resist the urge to revenge no matter how tempting it may seem. It's been said over and over that vengeance is like taking a glass of poison and expecting your enemy to die. Enough said.
5. Do something new- it could be a new hairdo, shopping (for shopaholics like myself), work out...find the one thing that tickles your fancy; is out of your comfort zone and exploit it to the maximum. Believe you me, you will feel much better and you'll realize that there's so much more to life only if you open your eyes to this realization.
6. Lastly and most importantly, Pray- Put your trust in God and realize that it is only He who has the power to heal and give peace. My Biblical backing for this is the verse that says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
As I conclude, I'd like you to know that if you are going through a tough time, remember that it will fade away, find your solace in Christ and for sure he will see you through. I did it and have never regretted one bit!
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