So...I'm totally feeling reflective at this ungodly hour and switch on my Adele playlist. Yup! You know where I'm headed (smiles!) Okay diary, I've been thinking a lot, you know? (as always) and going down memory lane, I'm just remembering the choices I made in the past, the mistakes too and as some come back clearly in my head, all I can do is cringe! Like was that me? or did some alien invade my medulla oblongata and entire being as well? Somethings just don't add up! But that is life.
All in all, the stupid decisions I made back then taught me a lot. The experiences too gave me an insight as to what life is all about.They taught me that pain is real, heartbreak is real, death is real, sickness is real. I don't think I've ever shed as many tears as I did back then. Gotta commend this tear glands of mine, cheers man. I learnt to live through the different seasons of life and embrace each as it came.
Bittersweet. Sometimes it takes a bad experience to appreciate the good. Adele's lyrics,"...sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..." were my favorite at some point.. (how?!) yet now I barely see the logic in that 'Someone like you' song. Diary? I am now a year older, 9 away from 30. I've learnt to have a teachable spirit, to put God first above all, that friends and family can never be replaced; especially in the pursuit of dreams and careers. Case in point, if *God forbid* you passed on today, a few weeks later your employers would replace you because work must be done. But your family? friends? they would always miss you and would never replace you. So, I think investing in relationships matters more at the end of the day.Period. I've learnt to love unconditionally, to let go when need be and to be the best to those around me.
Honestly, being a young beautiful woman in her early 20's (and no, I'm not bragging!) is no walk in the park. Many men that see me wanna bed me rather than wed me. Numerous girls my age lose themselves in the bottomless pit of alcoholism, drugs and cruel hands of lust; only to lose their identities and lives ultimately. I don't wanna be another statistic, of the girl that "had it" then "lost it." It's easy to smile, wear your Gucci, apply your Elizabeth Arden makeup (which I own by the way! but do I say..)and lie to the world that you're okay. But deep down inside, it's a battle. A battle to wake up and face yet another day. A battle to dry your tears and face your fears.and all those things that threaten to tear you up inside.
NO. Being a young unmarried woman in the 21st century is not easy! But why am I alive? Surely there must be a reason. Stacy Orrico puts it clearly in a song, "...there's gotta be more to life, than chasing about every temporary high to satisfy me..." I believe there must be a great reason for my being alive. Considering the number of times I've "cheated" death (for lack of a better phrase), that reason must be a pretty good one.
Nonetheless, I believe that God created every single person on this planet for a significant purpose. It is up to us, up to me, to find out what it is and live it out for Him. Life may seem difficult at times but the good news is,there's a manual with an answer to every need and it's called the Bible. Also, most importantly, I have a Father in heaven who I can talk to anywhere, anytime, and tell Him anything. He accepts me with all my imperfections and still loves me as I am. And His love for me is the best, most genuine and perfect love there ever is and ever will be!
So my dear diary, despite the hurdles this life may pose, I can face them. I can make it and fulfill my destiny and mission on this beautiful earth. I will make it.
*Kicking away the sheets*** Off to start my day!!
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