...melancholics like myself and phlegs tend to be the most frequent victims of this phenomenon. Sometimes we hold onto pain and carry the weight of the world when we can't even carry our own. However,as I have come to learn the hard way, life sometimes gets to the point where we've got to think about self first and consider our own feelings and needs instead of rushing to be superman to everyone else.
Once in a while, we've got to let loose, have fun and have no guilt or regrets about it!
So if you're like me, constantly thinking about the welfare of others and what they think, I greatly applaud you for that. Nevertheless, it is time to shelve them aside and do what makes YOU happy, and have fun while at it. After all, you only get one chance to live, so why not make the best of it??!!
Happy Holidays!
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Thursday, 22 December 2011
..Of dating advice n all...
''10 ways to know if he loves you'', ''7 signs to tell if he's cheating'', ''5surefire ways to re-ignite your love life...'' these are just but some of the titles of columns and articles that more often than not grace our dailies and media today, and claim to preach the gospel truth about love, life and our romantic partners...But really, should we peg our worldviews on matters of the heart and tie our actions to the words of ordinary human beings like ourselves, claiming to have the answers to all our deepest intimate issues?
I recently came across a relationship blog by a lady named Rori Raye and her articles were rather catchy and eyecandy for me..so I subscribed to her emailing service, whereby she'd give advice and tips on love, relationships and men. They were kinda cute but at some point became incessant and all they did was fill my inbox, moreso because they were full of sentiments based on lone experiences she'd undergone. However, what was most annoying was that at the end of each email, there was a link to obtain a video or e-book from this self-proclaimed relationship expert, of course at a very dear fee!
This goes without saying that some unscrupulous people have identified a need in society and are milking tonnes of money out of lonely, confused and broken hearts desperately in need of direction and advice (though all that some need is a thorough beating to ingrain sense into them!)
I am an avid reader of anything that appeals to my interests and a hopeless romantic at that, so anything saucy and worth reading will not glide by unnoticed. However over time, I have come to discover that we are more powerful and smarter than we actually deem ourselves to be; we hold the answers to questions and problems which we think Dr. Love can solve for us, yet we've got it all within us. You don't need some local or foreign stranger you know nothing about, to tell you how to please your man and find out what he really wants..all you simply need to do is be keen, listen with your eyes, ears and heart; and if need be, ask him. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the fact that if he spends a substantial amount of his time watching soccer, then he loves it! If he's got a fetish for electronics then that could be a potential birthday gift (incase you're stuck in a rut not knowing what 2 buy).
However, the most universal of them all is food! Just watch him and find out what his favourite meal is and it would be rather smart n' cute to perfect your culinary skills and fix him one sweet, savvy and scrumptious meal he'll never forget and you'll have him wrapped all around your little finger in the blink of eye!!
Bottomline is, we shouldn't let strangers define our love-lives and relationships by telling us the 'whats' and 'what-nots.' Just because Tyra Banks doesn't think you should make the first move after an argument doesn't mean it has to be so for you. Your relationship is what you and your sweetheart make it, and the more liberated and sincere you are with each other, the more you'll enjoy it; without feeling indebted or obligated to some writer somewhere just because you did not follow their '8-step rule to a happy n successful relationship'!!!
~When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right ones a chance to catch you~
I recently came across a relationship blog by a lady named Rori Raye and her articles were rather catchy and eyecandy for me..so I subscribed to her emailing service, whereby she'd give advice and tips on love, relationships and men. They were kinda cute but at some point became incessant and all they did was fill my inbox, moreso because they were full of sentiments based on lone experiences she'd undergone. However, what was most annoying was that at the end of each email, there was a link to obtain a video or e-book from this self-proclaimed relationship expert, of course at a very dear fee!
This goes without saying that some unscrupulous people have identified a need in society and are milking tonnes of money out of lonely, confused and broken hearts desperately in need of direction and advice (though all that some need is a thorough beating to ingrain sense into them!)
I am an avid reader of anything that appeals to my interests and a hopeless romantic at that, so anything saucy and worth reading will not glide by unnoticed. However over time, I have come to discover that we are more powerful and smarter than we actually deem ourselves to be; we hold the answers to questions and problems which we think Dr. Love can solve for us, yet we've got it all within us. You don't need some local or foreign stranger you know nothing about, to tell you how to please your man and find out what he really wants..all you simply need to do is be keen, listen with your eyes, ears and heart; and if need be, ask him. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the fact that if he spends a substantial amount of his time watching soccer, then he loves it! If he's got a fetish for electronics then that could be a potential birthday gift (incase you're stuck in a rut not knowing what 2 buy).
However, the most universal of them all is food! Just watch him and find out what his favourite meal is and it would be rather smart n' cute to perfect your culinary skills and fix him one sweet, savvy and scrumptious meal he'll never forget and you'll have him wrapped all around your little finger in the blink of eye!!
Bottomline is, we shouldn't let strangers define our love-lives and relationships by telling us the 'whats' and 'what-nots.' Just because Tyra Banks doesn't think you should make the first move after an argument doesn't mean it has to be so for you. Your relationship is what you and your sweetheart make it, and the more liberated and sincere you are with each other, the more you'll enjoy it; without feeling indebted or obligated to some writer somewhere just because you did not follow their '8-step rule to a happy n successful relationship'!!!
~When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right ones a chance to catch you~
Friday, 11 November 2011
...It's all lies...
I doubt if there is anyone in the world who can stomach the sick feeling of knowing that those they love, as well as those who don't love them can actually lie to them in their faces; unless of course it's the all too cliche "you've lost weight" kind of statements...Some may think that stretching then truth or telling a half-truth isn't cheating, but ethically-speaking it is a plain lie, better known as a "lie by omission". There are things we would rather avoid and take the easy way out of, instead of confronting head-on and bearing the bitter and painful consequences. The truth hurts, but it will also set you free- free from guilt, a burdened conscience and regret. Lies break trust, which could take years to build but only seconds to destroy. Trust is a fundamental building block of any relationship, friendship or partnership which is mainly shaken by lies and words that do not correspond with the ethics of truth.
Sometime ago, a friend once told me that "A true friend is one who tells you your breath stinks" (when it actually does)!!! I burst out laughing but when I came to sit down and later think about it, it made so much sense to me and made me begin questioning if I really was a friend indeed... How many times do we notice faults in those we love yet keep quiet about it? Now before I am discredited for being politically incorrect, no one is perfect and we all have shortcomings. However, there are some things about us that can and should be changed. These include disregard for rules of etiquette, improper use of language and habits that are improper such as gossip and disrespect for others. When we do note these negative traits in those we love, we should take it upon ourselves to bring it to light in their presence because it is for their own good. They may not like hearing these words and others may feel that they are above reproach, but in the long run, they will come to thank you for it someday.
Bottom line is, there is no need to lie, especially to save yourself or fix a wanting situation. The best approach would be to speak out whatever truth that needs to be spoken and bear the brunt, come what may. The rewards are a clean conscience, a pure heart, a guiltless spirit and widespread credibility and respect for exuding integrity.
Sometime ago, a friend once told me that "A true friend is one who tells you your breath stinks" (when it actually does)!!! I burst out laughing but when I came to sit down and later think about it, it made so much sense to me and made me begin questioning if I really was a friend indeed... How many times do we notice faults in those we love yet keep quiet about it? Now before I am discredited for being politically incorrect, no one is perfect and we all have shortcomings. However, there are some things about us that can and should be changed. These include disregard for rules of etiquette, improper use of language and habits that are improper such as gossip and disrespect for others. When we do note these negative traits in those we love, we should take it upon ourselves to bring it to light in their presence because it is for their own good. They may not like hearing these words and others may feel that they are above reproach, but in the long run, they will come to thank you for it someday.
Bottom line is, there is no need to lie, especially to save yourself or fix a wanting situation. The best approach would be to speak out whatever truth that needs to be spoken and bear the brunt, come what may. The rewards are a clean conscience, a pure heart, a guiltless spirit and widespread credibility and respect for exuding integrity.
Monday, 24 October 2011
A late night note to my love...
My love,
As I write this, it's three in the morning and I'm still wide awake. You may think I'm insomniac but I know the real reason is that I am afraid to fall asleep because reality is finally better than my dreams- my reality and every moment I spend with you...
But that's besides the point..all I simply want to do is express the inner joy bubbling out of me into simple words. You see, ever since you walked into my life, it has never been the same. You give me a reason to smile every time I think of you because I know deep in my heart that I have someone special and worthwhile to share all my experiences with- bitter or sweet. My heart is at rest now that it's found peace, joy and above all love-in you.
I used to look around and see all these beautiful gorgeous skinny ladies strutting their stuff in the latest Guccis, Louis Vuittons and Versace's and my mind would question my heart; would you see all that, be swayed and start making mental comparisons with your otherwise voluptuous and modest sweetheart? However, my heart told me that you were mine and I was yours and nothing was ever going to change that. You reiterated this sentiment by reminding me that you loved every square millimeter of my being- my character, intelligence, "different" sense of humor, beauty and above all my heart...when you slowly whispered these words to me, I broke down and burst into torrents of tears- happy tears of joy.
Now as sleep finally begins to set in, I can't help but think that I am the luckiest and most blessed lady who ever walked planet earth, simply because I have you. Your humility, honesty, simplicity and of course amazing looks and gorgeous physique all captivated my heart. Many told me that there were many fish in the sea; that I shouldn't settle for the first that came swimming to my shore but I knew better...even regardless of those fish, there are sharks, piranhas and poisonous creatures out to kill me and take advantage of yours truly...
Finally, before I settle into my world of slumber, I just want you to know that with every heartbeat of mine and every breath I take, you are the echo that responds closely and harmoniously, the reason for my joy, smile and peace.
In short, I love you and YOU, my love, are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Your loving Princess :)
As I write this, it's three in the morning and I'm still wide awake. You may think I'm insomniac but I know the real reason is that I am afraid to fall asleep because reality is finally better than my dreams- my reality and every moment I spend with you...
But that's besides the point..all I simply want to do is express the inner joy bubbling out of me into simple words. You see, ever since you walked into my life, it has never been the same. You give me a reason to smile every time I think of you because I know deep in my heart that I have someone special and worthwhile to share all my experiences with- bitter or sweet. My heart is at rest now that it's found peace, joy and above all love-in you.
I used to look around and see all these beautiful gorgeous skinny ladies strutting their stuff in the latest Guccis, Louis Vuittons and Versace's and my mind would question my heart; would you see all that, be swayed and start making mental comparisons with your otherwise voluptuous and modest sweetheart? However, my heart told me that you were mine and I was yours and nothing was ever going to change that. You reiterated this sentiment by reminding me that you loved every square millimeter of my being- my character, intelligence, "different" sense of humor, beauty and above all my heart...when you slowly whispered these words to me, I broke down and burst into torrents of tears- happy tears of joy.
Now as sleep finally begins to set in, I can't help but think that I am the luckiest and most blessed lady who ever walked planet earth, simply because I have you. Your humility, honesty, simplicity and of course amazing looks and gorgeous physique all captivated my heart. Many told me that there were many fish in the sea; that I shouldn't settle for the first that came swimming to my shore but I knew better...even regardless of those fish, there are sharks, piranhas and poisonous creatures out to kill me and take advantage of yours truly...
Finally, before I settle into my world of slumber, I just want you to know that with every heartbeat of mine and every breath I take, you are the echo that responds closely and harmoniously, the reason for my joy, smile and peace.
In short, I love you and YOU, my love, are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Your loving Princess :)
Friday, 14 October 2011
You are beautiful no matter what…
Day in out we wake up, get about our lives, step into the everyday routine of life and eventually get accustomed to it. Sometimes we find ourselves doing so much for other people, being there for everyone, and ensuring that those we love are okay and we do our best to look out for their best interests…it’s pretty noble and commendable and every deserving lady deserves a pat on the back for the role she plays in life.
However, sometimes we get all tangled up in these things, such that we forget to appreciate ourselves, what makes us who we are and ultimately end up lethargic in a dire state of burnout. At this point, the negative voices in our lives start to become louder and real; you don’t see that beautiful girl anymore staring back at you in the mirror; instead, all you see is a face full of zits, a flabby tummy, legs that have stretch marks extending from the north pole to the south, scars that remind you of pain from the past, yet deep down inside, there’s a sleeping beauty waiting to be awakened, to illuminate the world with her presence, beauty and intelligence.
Girls…you’ve got to realize that many times in life, things will not go your way; but you’ve got to leave it all behind. The struggle to survive without losing yourself can be a fight, one that can wear you out and leave you empty and broken. But you’ve got to keep pushing on. Block out the noise, forgive, and most importantly, forgive yourself and the open wounds won’t hurt anymore. It takes strength, inner will and power from within to push you forward and get past the hurt, self-pity and setbacks.
The next time you wake up, look in the mirror and tell the girl staring back at you that she’s beautiful, strong and intelligent…don’t let the mirror lie to you that your acne is what defines you; tell that image in the mirror that you’re a princess, a strongwoman with a stride in her step and the power of healing in her words. Let the imperfections remind you that you are far from perfect; only God is…and that’s the beauty of it all…
When the pain of a broken heart reminds you of your loneliness and bleeding soul, tell that girl in the mirror that you’re going to wait for the wedding ring and God in heaven for sure is writing your love story so don’t fret, don’t let it break you. Don’t wait for a knight in shining “arma(ni)”to come and sweep you off your feet and tell you that you’re beautiful; you might as well turn into a skeleton waiting for that day. Love yourself for who you are, don’t have any apologies about it and those that cannot love you back are foolish to take for granted this amazing gift from God to mankind!!!
Finally, as Deborah Cox puts it, “…don’t let ever let nobody bring you down girl, don’t ever let nobody tear your world apart, look in the mirror and see who you are, beautiful you are…”
So girl, grab that glamorous outfit, wear that sparkling jewelry, kick on those sexy heels and take on the world with a smile on your face and a spring in your step…Because you are beautiful no matter what!!!
I'm back!!!
Have a good read and hope you’ll enjoy. I look forward to your feedback and comments.
Blessings!!
Friday, 3 June 2011
My little glass heart...
I used to think my heart was made of stone,fibre and hard rock...
I never thought anyone could infiltrate the corners if this lifeline of me,
that anyone could break through the delicate part of mine I'd shielded from the world
That was until I met-them.
They came in all forms-friends-dotting friends, family, men...they promised me the world, swore their loyalty to our friendship or rather what I deemed to be ''friendship''
They gave me their trust and naturally, I was compelled to give them mine...
Little did I know that most of them only had self in mind and ''little miss friendly-yours truly, featured nowhere...
They lied, gossiped, hurt and slandered,
they sourced the rumors and deceit
yet had the nerve to look me in my face,
Stare deep into my countenace as of everything was okay...
That was when I realized that what I believed to have been of stone was nothing more than a piece of glass-so beautiful, yet so fragile and sensitive
They shattered it into millions of tiny minute fragments, with each causing me to bleed inside and hurt, with every step I seemed to make forward...
Through it all, I always heard a still soft voice whisper in my ear-comforting words when I needed them, inspiration when i felt helpless and strength when I felt weary..
Alongside that still soft voice came a warmth so tender and calm...something immeasurable and I could not comprehend...
I decided to pick up my pieces and keep walking on, without looking back...
That still soft voice was always there and the calmness didn't depart, not even for a split second
This voice was like a friend, who would carry me each time I fell,
and would urge me on when the weakness set in
I came to realize that all along,it was you-Lord, you saved me...
You mended my little glass heart
and gave me something to live for,
You gave my life wholeness and meaning,
You filled the empty spaces in my life and put a smile on my broken face
You healed my scars and wounds, and erased all evidence of pain and anguished from me...
You were my friend when the world deserted and mocked me,
They laughed at my Jesus, saying you were only a facade but I knew better, I held onto you because apart from you I can do nothing.
Lord you've taken me from the bottomless pit of despair, loneliness and self-pity
and carried me in your warm strong arms, to a realm of joy, peace and grace in you...I would never trade anything in the world for this..
I'm holding onto you- to carry me, lead me, guide me and to help me live for you...ALWAYS,
it doesn't matter what they say,
it's okay if they throw rocks and stones my way
to break my little glass heart, because they'll be flung right back at them, since you surround me...
Lord on my own, I am helpless.
I need you-always have,always will
The satisfaction I get from knowing you is like none other on this earth
You've seen me through my darkest and brightest moments, yet you never changed or left me; you accepted my imperfections and forgave my iniquities
-a love I've never known.
Take over my life;
and guard my little glass heart
-this my humble prayer to you dear Lord.
I never thought anyone could infiltrate the corners if this lifeline of me,
that anyone could break through the delicate part of mine I'd shielded from the world
That was until I met-them.
They came in all forms-friends-dotting friends, family, men...they promised me the world, swore their loyalty to our friendship or rather what I deemed to be ''friendship''
They gave me their trust and naturally, I was compelled to give them mine...
Little did I know that most of them only had self in mind and ''little miss friendly-yours truly, featured nowhere...
They lied, gossiped, hurt and slandered,
they sourced the rumors and deceit
yet had the nerve to look me in my face,
Stare deep into my countenace as of everything was okay...
That was when I realized that what I believed to have been of stone was nothing more than a piece of glass-so beautiful, yet so fragile and sensitive
They shattered it into millions of tiny minute fragments, with each causing me to bleed inside and hurt, with every step I seemed to make forward...
Through it all, I always heard a still soft voice whisper in my ear-comforting words when I needed them, inspiration when i felt helpless and strength when I felt weary..
Alongside that still soft voice came a warmth so tender and calm...something immeasurable and I could not comprehend...
I decided to pick up my pieces and keep walking on, without looking back...
That still soft voice was always there and the calmness didn't depart, not even for a split second
This voice was like a friend, who would carry me each time I fell,
and would urge me on when the weakness set in
I came to realize that all along,it was you-Lord, you saved me...
You mended my little glass heart
and gave me something to live for,
You gave my life wholeness and meaning,
You filled the empty spaces in my life and put a smile on my broken face
You healed my scars and wounds, and erased all evidence of pain and anguished from me...
You were my friend when the world deserted and mocked me,
They laughed at my Jesus, saying you were only a facade but I knew better, I held onto you because apart from you I can do nothing.
Lord you've taken me from the bottomless pit of despair, loneliness and self-pity
and carried me in your warm strong arms, to a realm of joy, peace and grace in you...I would never trade anything in the world for this..
I'm holding onto you- to carry me, lead me, guide me and to help me live for you...ALWAYS,
it doesn't matter what they say,
it's okay if they throw rocks and stones my way
to break my little glass heart, because they'll be flung right back at them, since you surround me...
Lord on my own, I am helpless.
I need you-always have,always will
The satisfaction I get from knowing you is like none other on this earth
You've seen me through my darkest and brightest moments, yet you never changed or left me; you accepted my imperfections and forgave my iniquities
-a love I've never known.
Take over my life;
and guard my little glass heart
-this my humble prayer to you dear Lord.
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Love at its best!!
My heart aches for you
you're not here with me,
how I wish you were
to keep me warm and safe
and to paint that beautiful smile on my face
and wrap your arms around me
..plunge those soft pink lips into mine,
let that moment never end..
hold me and tell me you love me and don't let go...
let's look at the moon and stars
twinkling magically in the silence of the night,as you rub your strong built arms on my feeble ones,
Pull me close to your muscular bosom,
and gaze deep into my eyes...and let this perfect moment last forever,
I love you and will do what you ask..
You captured my love, just like I did to yours,
Hold onto me forever...even in death, and please,please don't let this ever end.....
*Blink,blink* I wake up...it was just but a dream; A dream I wish could come true, and last for eternity...!!!
you're not here with me,
how I wish you were
to keep me warm and safe
and to paint that beautiful smile on my face
and wrap your arms around me
..plunge those soft pink lips into mine,
let that moment never end..
hold me and tell me you love me and don't let go...
let's look at the moon and stars
twinkling magically in the silence of the night,as you rub your strong built arms on my feeble ones,
Pull me close to your muscular bosom,
and gaze deep into my eyes...and let this perfect moment last forever,
I love you and will do what you ask..
You captured my love, just like I did to yours,
Hold onto me forever...even in death, and please,please don't let this ever end.....
*Blink,blink* I wake up...it was just but a dream; A dream I wish could come true, and last for eternity...!!!
A place called Home
It used to be my shelter,
my solace when I was cold,
my refuge when I was worn
and a comfort when I was torn
I would run there when the world turned against me,
when friends became foes,
all I had in mind were my woes,
All the same, this place was like heaven,
Peaceful,warm and safe
A place I wouldn't trade for anything or anywhere...
However, as time went by, this place changed..
it became icy and multiplied my pain
all I felt was anguish and strain
Whenever I set foot there...
I hardly longed to return
but I had to, since I had nowhere else to go,
It killed me inside,
yet there was little I could about it..
Nothing except pray,
that someday I would break out of my nest, and fly away...
Away from the place I called home...
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