I didn't think it would be this hard. Everyone has advice about this and that. Drink, party, have fun! On the other hand, your choices will affect your tomorrow. Marriage this, marriage that. You've got to step on a few heads here and there on your way up the career ladder. My faith has it that I've got to give up the pleasures of this world to gain eternity. Break-ups, phonies, backstabbing, mood swings... Aaaaaargh! I just want to scream..these thoughts are saturating my little mind and I don't know what to do. Yet it's these things that constantly wallow in the atmosphere all around me. I can only run for so long, eih?
Barely 8hours to the day I commemorate my birth, and all I can do is just sit and lose my mind in thought. Who knew things would be so tough? Society has set certain timelines to achieve what is deemed normal: Degree by 24, grow career-wise over the next four years, marry by 28, baby the next year...and more after that and live happily ever after. Who wants normal anyway? Can't you just make up your own rules, make your own mistakes and pick up the pieces of yourself along the way?
Francesca Battistelli (I quote her again!) puts it so well:
"Free To Be Me"
"At twenty years of age
I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged
For my destiny
But you've already won the battle
And you've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right
And I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender...
Sometimes I believe
That I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I've got nothing good to bring
But you look at my heart and you tell me
That I've got all you seek
And it's easy to believe
Even though..."
In short, it's easy to focus on the negative yet there is so much to be thankful for. Anytime you feel tempted to whine about anything from the price of milk to the most mundane thing, just think of one good thing in your life and be thankful to God for it. Be yourself, let no one dictate the direction your life should take but be principled as well. I choose to live for God and give all that I am to him, no matter the cost. Will it be easy? No. But I'm confident he will see me through.
1639h
Feeling soo much better. Sometimes it seems like walking God's path is costing me lots of "friendships" but the one friend I know who'll never leave is Christ. If it means being mocked for what I stand for, let it be. Oh, the joy of salvation!
Can September 12th get here already??!
