So today morning was another one of those dull mornings I woke up feeling bleeh. Whatever that means. My heart was heavy, my mind full of thoughts, fears and questions about life. At that point I knew I needed to hear an uplifting word so I tuned to one of the 3 main Christian radio stations on our airwaves. An ad was being aired, and I thought, "Just chill Rita, a sermon or some gospel song will play next." Another ad aired, and another one. Then a song played for not more than a minute and the presenter came back on air. He began talking about some product, and he went on and on and on. Wait, what station am I listening to to? Sure enough, it was a Christian radio station. It sounded more like a classifieds channel and at that point, I was compelled to listen to Classic 105 all the same. What was the difference anyway? So I tuned to the next station, and this time, the preacher was talking about favour, success and how good things are coming our way. Like he always does. The other one had rock/pop music (which I love by the way!) but I just switched off the radio and went to my playlist instead.
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
~Matt. 28:18-19
This is the great commission, the mandate of every believer to spread the word of God and bring more to the kingdom. The rise of churches, ministries and programs and in a variety of platforms is something commendable; a milestone in achieving this great commission given by Christ. Media is one of them, and I'm glad that we have people who've taken this up and have formed broadcast stations to spread the good news. However, my greatest fear is that the great commission mandate has gradually been shelved and things like advertising, now run the show. Literally. But Rita, you may say, what will pay the bills? Surely this house won't pay its own rent and a smile at Kenya Power won't pay my dues. Yes, salaries have to be paid. But why call it a Christian station if more than a half of your show is pegged on marketing this and that? Then you ask, so where will the money come from? Hmmm...without risking sounding like a mere critic hiding behind the confines of my computer screen, I dare say, Christians have money! Yes we do. Look at all the church projects around us. There's almost always a fundraising in every other church, every other Sunday. Look at the beautiful altars we have in our sanctuaries. Look at the way we can afford to buy our preachers some damn expensive cars; wait, look at our own cars and houses. And that is just a drop in the ocean.
(continued...check out the next post for part two)
Thursday, 28 November 2013
Christian Media...Is there anything like that? (Part 2)
I simply marvel at how much the apostles in the early church were able to accomplish, yet they lived such simple lives. I mean, thousands got saved, many others were healed, and there was such a burning passion for Christ. When Jesus sent out his twelve disciples, he told them not to carry anything. No bag, extra tunic or sandals. Now, if some of us ladies were told to leave our handbags behind...guess we would have a problem with that. I know I would! Anyway, let me digress a little, as I already have anyway.
All I am trying to say is that complacency has slowly but surely found it's way into the church and into our hearts as Christians. "Oh, those corrupt politicians?" we say. "Heh, hao ma-pastor wa Seeds of Sin? They will burn in hell," and my favourite, "Hiyo ni kazi ya gava!" >> I am merely echoing some of the most common sentiments I have heard from fellow believers. No wonder people are shying away from the gospel! By the way, I am no religious scholar or saint above and beyond reproach. The one writing this is one who has, at many points been a hypocrite but is simply trying to live right and propagate the word to fellow mankind. As I was saying, the attitude these days, is 'that's not my work.' Self has become the priority these days. Not just in matters spiritual, but in life generally. There's alot of self-help vibe going around. Christians should know better; we have the ultimate helper in the Holy Spirit. He guides us, helps us in our day-to-day struggles and is the best companion ever. So why do we focus on ourselves so much?
Back to the matter at hand. The media that purports to be in place to spread the word of God should stick to that mandate. For instance, there is an Islamic station for instance that is committed to teaching the fundamentals of their faith and engaging faithfuls in exposition and dialogue of issues pertaining their religion. If Muslims embrace their faith so passionately, then why can't we accept our own?
With regard to Christian media, maybe it is I who is not in touch with the reality on the ground. But I still maintain that we have a long, long way to go if we keep on carrying ourselves in the same way as non-believers do. Not just with regards to media, but the church all round. If at all we are to compare the way the early Church ministers lived with the manner in which modern-day Christianity is 'done,' the differences will be more than astounding. Today, the word on prosperity has been given greater weight as opposed to repentance, crucifying the flesh and dying to sin. We focus so much on amassing wealth with the notion that God wants to bless us. He does actually, but we must make seeking God our primary priority as opposed to wanting material blessings alone. Whether we get them or not, our hearts need to be content, knowing that in Him we have more than we can ask for. We need to retreat to a life of simplicity and drive our efforts to sharing the wonderful gospel with those God has entrusted us with. Instead, fame, wealth and money are what we think of and breathe. I wonder and cower in shame at what God must be thinking when he sees us doing all this.
I almost changed the title of this post because I've clearly talked more about the church and Christianity. But I've gained the insight that the media issue simply is a reflection of the standards Christianity has stooped down to. Nonetheless, there is hope. God's arms are always wide open and ready to forgive and His grace is abundant. If really we are to walk in the will of God, in what is called "taking up your cross," then we should be ready to embrace persecution, rejection, and discomfort that are connected with following Christ. We should also be ready to face ridicule and shame just as Christ did. About the media, I am of the opinion that with all the money the church (Christians) has, keeping Jesus on the airwaves should not be a problem. Then hopefully, we will not have to depend on mere mortals in the name of advertising, to stay on air. What's your take?
All I am trying to say is that complacency has slowly but surely found it's way into the church and into our hearts as Christians. "Oh, those corrupt politicians?" we say. "Heh, hao ma-pastor wa Seeds of Sin? They will burn in hell," and my favourite, "Hiyo ni kazi ya gava!" >> I am merely echoing some of the most common sentiments I have heard from fellow believers. No wonder people are shying away from the gospel! By the way, I am no religious scholar or saint above and beyond reproach. The one writing this is one who has, at many points been a hypocrite but is simply trying to live right and propagate the word to fellow mankind. As I was saying, the attitude these days, is 'that's not my work.' Self has become the priority these days. Not just in matters spiritual, but in life generally. There's alot of self-help vibe going around. Christians should know better; we have the ultimate helper in the Holy Spirit. He guides us, helps us in our day-to-day struggles and is the best companion ever. So why do we focus on ourselves so much?
Back to the matter at hand. The media that purports to be in place to spread the word of God should stick to that mandate. For instance, there is an Islamic station for instance that is committed to teaching the fundamentals of their faith and engaging faithfuls in exposition and dialogue of issues pertaining their religion. If Muslims embrace their faith so passionately, then why can't we accept our own?
With regard to Christian media, maybe it is I who is not in touch with the reality on the ground. But I still maintain that we have a long, long way to go if we keep on carrying ourselves in the same way as non-believers do. Not just with regards to media, but the church all round. If at all we are to compare the way the early Church ministers lived with the manner in which modern-day Christianity is 'done,' the differences will be more than astounding. Today, the word on prosperity has been given greater weight as opposed to repentance, crucifying the flesh and dying to sin. We focus so much on amassing wealth with the notion that God wants to bless us. He does actually, but we must make seeking God our primary priority as opposed to wanting material blessings alone. Whether we get them or not, our hearts need to be content, knowing that in Him we have more than we can ask for. We need to retreat to a life of simplicity and drive our efforts to sharing the wonderful gospel with those God has entrusted us with. Instead, fame, wealth and money are what we think of and breathe. I wonder and cower in shame at what God must be thinking when he sees us doing all this.
I almost changed the title of this post because I've clearly talked more about the church and Christianity. But I've gained the insight that the media issue simply is a reflection of the standards Christianity has stooped down to. Nonetheless, there is hope. God's arms are always wide open and ready to forgive and His grace is abundant. If really we are to walk in the will of God, in what is called "taking up your cross," then we should be ready to embrace persecution, rejection, and discomfort that are connected with following Christ. We should also be ready to face ridicule and shame just as Christ did. About the media, I am of the opinion that with all the money the church (Christians) has, keeping Jesus on the airwaves should not be a problem. Then hopefully, we will not have to depend on mere mortals in the name of advertising, to stay on air. What's your take?
Thursday, 17 October 2013
Salt and Light
"You are the salt and light of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men...In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." ~Matthew 5:13,16.
For the past couple of months, I've been deeply racking my brain in a quest to find out what it really means to be a Christian. Different people have different ways of defining Christianity. For some, it means going to church every Sunday; For others, it's more like, "I was brought up in a Christian home, so I am a Christian"; Yet for another crop, it's that simple profession that indeed, "I am a Christian." But if the greatest book ever written is anything to go by, then we know that Christianity is more than just these claims.
I recently joined a bible study group and the book we're studying for the next couple of months is the gospel according to Matthew. Two lessons into the study and the profound truths I am learning have made me realize that I have settled into a cosy comfort zone in my faith and that I have a long way to go. With reference to the excerpt above, the entire passage is based on Christ's teachings about being the salt and light of the earth. Let me share with you some characteristics we learnt about salt (which believers should embody).
i) Salt is pure- Just as salt is pure, every believer should exemplify purity and the highest godly standards in every area of life.
ii) Salt adds flavour- You should add value to those around you and be a blessing in your community.
iii) Salt sanitizes- It stings to add salt to a wound but brings healing ultimately; In the same way, a believer should give the word of God - "that stings" - and makes those living in sin uncomfortable enough to desire to change their ways.
iv) Salt creates thirst- We should create thirst for God within those in our midst.
v) Salt is a preservative- We should preserve society and ensure our presence lowers the rate of decay (moral, spiritual, etc) in our surrounding.
In short, contamination of salt makes it lose its saltiness. As a believer, do not allow your yourself to be contaminated by all that goes against God's will for our lives. We should illuminate Christ to the world inspite of the persecution, rejection and challenges that we will face along the way.
A secret Christian is a contradiction, just like a hidden light.
This is my take: To be a believer, there is a cost, just like there is in living outside the will of God. The only difference is that the benefit of living in God far outweighs the cost. Your choice.
Be blessed.
This song puts it pretty well. (Courtesy: youtube.com)
For the past couple of months, I've been deeply racking my brain in a quest to find out what it really means to be a Christian. Different people have different ways of defining Christianity. For some, it means going to church every Sunday; For others, it's more like, "I was brought up in a Christian home, so I am a Christian"; Yet for another crop, it's that simple profession that indeed, "I am a Christian." But if the greatest book ever written is anything to go by, then we know that Christianity is more than just these claims.
I recently joined a bible study group and the book we're studying for the next couple of months is the gospel according to Matthew. Two lessons into the study and the profound truths I am learning have made me realize that I have settled into a cosy comfort zone in my faith and that I have a long way to go. With reference to the excerpt above, the entire passage is based on Christ's teachings about being the salt and light of the earth. Let me share with you some characteristics we learnt about salt (which believers should embody).
i) Salt is pure- Just as salt is pure, every believer should exemplify purity and the highest godly standards in every area of life.
ii) Salt adds flavour- You should add value to those around you and be a blessing in your community.
iii) Salt sanitizes- It stings to add salt to a wound but brings healing ultimately; In the same way, a believer should give the word of God - "that stings" - and makes those living in sin uncomfortable enough to desire to change their ways.
iv) Salt creates thirst- We should create thirst for God within those in our midst.
v) Salt is a preservative- We should preserve society and ensure our presence lowers the rate of decay (moral, spiritual, etc) in our surrounding.
In short, contamination of salt makes it lose its saltiness. As a believer, do not allow your yourself to be contaminated by all that goes against God's will for our lives. We should illuminate Christ to the world inspite of the persecution, rejection and challenges that we will face along the way.
A secret Christian is a contradiction, just like a hidden light.
This is my take: To be a believer, there is a cost, just like there is in living outside the will of God. The only difference is that the benefit of living in God far outweighs the cost. Your choice.
Be blessed.
This song puts it pretty well. (Courtesy: youtube.com)
Wednesday, 11 September 2013
22 and Counting!
1614h *Confused*
I didn't think it would be this hard. Everyone has advice about this and that. Drink, party, have fun! On the other hand, your choices will affect your tomorrow. Marriage this, marriage that. You've got to step on a few heads here and there on your way up the career ladder. My faith has it that I've got to give up the pleasures of this world to gain eternity. Break-ups, phonies, backstabbing, mood swings... Aaaaaargh! I just want to scream..these thoughts are saturating my little mind and I don't know what to do. Yet it's these things that constantly wallow in the atmosphere all around me. I can only run for so long, eih?
Grateful for my ever-supportive best friend! Love you Sly :-)
Barely 8hours to the day I commemorate my birth, and all I can do is just sit and lose my mind in thought. Who knew things would be so tough? Society has set certain timelines to achieve what is deemed normal: Degree by 24, grow career-wise over the next four years, marry by 28, baby the next year...and more after that and live happily ever after. Who wants normal anyway? Can't you just make up your own rules, make your own mistakes and pick up the pieces of yourself along the way?
Francesca Battistelli (I quote her again!) puts it so well:
"Free To Be Me"
"At twenty years of age
I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged
For my destiny
But you've already won the battle
And you've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right
And I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender...
Sometimes I believe
That I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I've got nothing good to bring
But you look at my heart and you tell me
That I've got all you seek
And it's easy to believe
Even though..."
In short, it's easy to focus on the negative yet there is so much to be thankful for. Anytime you feel tempted to whine about anything from the price of milk to the most mundane thing, just think of one good thing in your life and be thankful to God for it. Be yourself, let no one dictate the direction your life should take but be principled as well. I choose to live for God and give all that I am to him, no matter the cost. Will it be easy? No. But I'm confident he will see me through.
I too, have a crazy side...it was 'shady wear' day on campus..don't judge!
1639h
Feeling soo much better. Sometimes it seems like walking God's path is costing me lots of "friendships" but the one friend I know who'll never leave is Christ. If it means being mocked for what I stand for, let it be. Oh, the joy of salvation!
Can September 12th get here already??!
I didn't think it would be this hard. Everyone has advice about this and that. Drink, party, have fun! On the other hand, your choices will affect your tomorrow. Marriage this, marriage that. You've got to step on a few heads here and there on your way up the career ladder. My faith has it that I've got to give up the pleasures of this world to gain eternity. Break-ups, phonies, backstabbing, mood swings... Aaaaaargh! I just want to scream..these thoughts are saturating my little mind and I don't know what to do. Yet it's these things that constantly wallow in the atmosphere all around me. I can only run for so long, eih?
Barely 8hours to the day I commemorate my birth, and all I can do is just sit and lose my mind in thought. Who knew things would be so tough? Society has set certain timelines to achieve what is deemed normal: Degree by 24, grow career-wise over the next four years, marry by 28, baby the next year...and more after that and live happily ever after. Who wants normal anyway? Can't you just make up your own rules, make your own mistakes and pick up the pieces of yourself along the way?
Francesca Battistelli (I quote her again!) puts it so well:
"Free To Be Me"
"At twenty years of age
I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged
For my destiny
But you've already won the battle
And you've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right
And I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender...
Sometimes I believe
That I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I've got nothing good to bring
But you look at my heart and you tell me
That I've got all you seek
And it's easy to believe
Even though..."
In short, it's easy to focus on the negative yet there is so much to be thankful for. Anytime you feel tempted to whine about anything from the price of milk to the most mundane thing, just think of one good thing in your life and be thankful to God for it. Be yourself, let no one dictate the direction your life should take but be principled as well. I choose to live for God and give all that I am to him, no matter the cost. Will it be easy? No. But I'm confident he will see me through.
1639h
Feeling soo much better. Sometimes it seems like walking God's path is costing me lots of "friendships" but the one friend I know who'll never leave is Christ. If it means being mocked for what I stand for, let it be. Oh, the joy of salvation!
Can September 12th get here already??!
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Friendship is more than just a word...
“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”
― Jon Katz
Yeah, 4 months since I wrote. Blame it on that phenomenon called 'writers block.' So for the past 14 or so days, I've been indoors. All curled up at home with lots of movies and housework to keep me going. But the real thing that's been on my mind is this mysterious subject called friendship. Really, what is friendship? Who is a friend? How do you measure your 'level' of friendship?
Methinks that there are friends who are meant to see us through specific seasons of our lives, others are there for simple company and there are those who are meant to last for a lifetime. Of course those in the latter category usually end up being a handful. Anyway, I really do feel saddened, that these days friendship isn't what it used to be, or what it ought to be. Blame technology, careers, changing times where everyone is out there busy doing something, chasing Benjamin's baby and driving fast on the superhighway to getting rich. Is it worth it? So blinded are we that we put these material things before the thing that matters most. Love. But all the same, when you have to go to your friend's social media account to see what they have been upto and how they are fairing, then there is cause for alarm. I mean, ever been on the receiving end of silent treatment from a boyfriend or girlfriend, only to go to their Twitter/Facebook page and bamm! There lies all the answers? The emotional updates and flirty comments almost certainly let you know what course of action to take.
Benevolence, brotherhood, cordiality, good-will, camaraderie are all beautiful flowery words associated with friendship. Then why is that actual friendships today are more often than not characterized with deep silence, conniving and backstabbing mannerisms? What happened to friendship meaning something in a love relationship? For sure I've never been married, but many of those who've walked down that road state matter-of-factly that it all boils down to friendship. Feelings fade, outward beauty fades but friendship, true meaningful friendship lasts a lifetime. Not too long ago, I was privileged to interact with a renown Professor, an elderly Mzungu guy, who's been happily married to his sweetheart for a whopping 63 years. If that's not love, then I don't know what is...Even in his old age, he still opens the door for her, holds her hand and for sure they look like a couple in love who just got married. And he stated that she was not just his wife but best friend as well. (I wish all these brothers that hit on us could borrow a leaf or something!)
“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Nonetheless, I came with a few simple steps to building and maintaining friendships:
i) Be a friend- It's easy to point out the flaws in others but seldom recognize your own. It's that simple, be a friend first and friendship will come to you.
ii) Communicate- Call, text, tweet...in short, stay in touch. The upside of technology is that distance is just but a little gap which can be easily bridged. A simple 'hi' once in a while can go a long way in making a friendship have meaning.
iii) Remember: It takes two to tango- A friendship is always two-way. Both parties have to work hard at making it work. There's nothing as frustrating as feeling like you're in it alone. (Speaking from experience; past and current)
iv) Put God at the centre of it all- The greatest book ever written states in Ecclesiastes that a cord of 3 strands can not be easily broken. With God as the binding factor in your friendship, it will stand all storms, tests and trials.
Go out there and be a friend, I know I will!
― Jon Katz
Yeah, 4 months since I wrote. Blame it on that phenomenon called 'writers block.' So for the past 14 or so days, I've been indoors. All curled up at home with lots of movies and housework to keep me going. But the real thing that's been on my mind is this mysterious subject called friendship. Really, what is friendship? Who is a friend? How do you measure your 'level' of friendship?
Methinks that there are friends who are meant to see us through specific seasons of our lives, others are there for simple company and there are those who are meant to last for a lifetime. Of course those in the latter category usually end up being a handful. Anyway, I really do feel saddened, that these days friendship isn't what it used to be, or what it ought to be. Blame technology, careers, changing times where everyone is out there busy doing something, chasing Benjamin's baby and driving fast on the superhighway to getting rich. Is it worth it? So blinded are we that we put these material things before the thing that matters most. Love. But all the same, when you have to go to your friend's social media account to see what they have been upto and how they are fairing, then there is cause for alarm. I mean, ever been on the receiving end of silent treatment from a boyfriend or girlfriend, only to go to their Twitter/Facebook page and bamm! There lies all the answers? The emotional updates and flirty comments almost certainly let you know what course of action to take.
Benevolence, brotherhood, cordiality, good-will, camaraderie are all beautiful flowery words associated with friendship. Then why is that actual friendships today are more often than not characterized with deep silence, conniving and backstabbing mannerisms? What happened to friendship meaning something in a love relationship? For sure I've never been married, but many of those who've walked down that road state matter-of-factly that it all boils down to friendship. Feelings fade, outward beauty fades but friendship, true meaningful friendship lasts a lifetime. Not too long ago, I was privileged to interact with a renown Professor, an elderly Mzungu guy, who's been happily married to his sweetheart for a whopping 63 years. If that's not love, then I don't know what is...Even in his old age, he still opens the door for her, holds her hand and for sure they look like a couple in love who just got married. And he stated that she was not just his wife but best friend as well. (I wish all these brothers that hit on us could borrow a leaf or something!)
“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Nonetheless, I came with a few simple steps to building and maintaining friendships:
i) Be a friend- It's easy to point out the flaws in others but seldom recognize your own. It's that simple, be a friend first and friendship will come to you.
ii) Communicate- Call, text, tweet...in short, stay in touch. The upside of technology is that distance is just but a little gap which can be easily bridged. A simple 'hi' once in a while can go a long way in making a friendship have meaning.
iii) Remember: It takes two to tango- A friendship is always two-way. Both parties have to work hard at making it work. There's nothing as frustrating as feeling like you're in it alone. (Speaking from experience; past and current)
iv) Put God at the centre of it all- The greatest book ever written states in Ecclesiastes that a cord of 3 strands can not be easily broken. With God as the binding factor in your friendship, it will stand all storms, tests and trials.
Go out there and be a friend, I know I will!
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Never, ever, ever give up...
Hello Hello!!
I'll just begin by saying that I am grateful to be alive this beautiful morning and for the joy my Maker has put in my heart. Inspite of the moulding process He's taking me through, I'm still able to sing, laugh and love...
All the same, I just had a light-bulb moment and felt I should share this with you. A few days ago, a close friend asked me a question that totally caught me by surprise. She noted that I seemed to enjoy studying and admired the way I did it wholeheartedly (I didn't know that!). I sat down, thought about it and my mind led me down memory lane...
You see, coming from a family of smart people (Just calling a spade, a spade) academic success is something that ought to come naturally, right? Wrong. When I sat for my KCPE exams way back in '05, I was privileged to get great results, which landed me in one of the best secondary schools in Kenya...the school with rules more strict than Kenya's penitentiaries and a very distinct flyover? Anyway, to cut it short, I was somewhat over-confident in my academic abilities and my grades dwindled terribly. From top ten to bottom five in the class, that was a huge leap in the wrong direction. My parents can even attest to the fact that my report form looked like an alphabet chart...with most grades being C's and D's. There was even a time I got the lowest possible grade (E). It really affected me.
This isn't to say I didn't work hard. I did study lots, and even consulted teachers on a regular basis. Nevertheless, after doing KCSE I got a grade which I didn't like and I remember my mama consoling me for weeks on end, that everything would be okay and that I needed to move on and decide what I wanted to do. Eventually, the tears ran dry and I figured out what I wanted to do. A career that would entail lots of reading, writing, talking and human interaction. That is how I found myself doing Communication.
So, I answered my friend by letting her know that it is the drive to succeed and love for what I do that motivates me to work hard. Needless to say, failure was a word I had to eliminate from my vocabulary. It is inevitable, but not something that we should dwell on. My encouragement to you is this: If you can conceive it, you can achieve it. The only barrier to you achieving your dreams is your thoughts and capability to perceive what you can or cannot accomplish.
The future may look bleak from the view in your stained lenses, but in God's perfect view, it is brighter than you can ever imagine. All you've got to do is trust in Him, work hard and smart, surround yourself with people who build you and those you can build, and finally, set smart priorities and focus on them.
In short, Never, ever, ever give up.
I'll just begin by saying that I am grateful to be alive this beautiful morning and for the joy my Maker has put in my heart. Inspite of the moulding process He's taking me through, I'm still able to sing, laugh and love...
All the same, I just had a light-bulb moment and felt I should share this with you. A few days ago, a close friend asked me a question that totally caught me by surprise. She noted that I seemed to enjoy studying and admired the way I did it wholeheartedly (I didn't know that!). I sat down, thought about it and my mind led me down memory lane...
You see, coming from a family of smart people (Just calling a spade, a spade) academic success is something that ought to come naturally, right? Wrong. When I sat for my KCPE exams way back in '05, I was privileged to get great results, which landed me in one of the best secondary schools in Kenya...the school with rules more strict than Kenya's penitentiaries and a very distinct flyover? Anyway, to cut it short, I was somewhat over-confident in my academic abilities and my grades dwindled terribly. From top ten to bottom five in the class, that was a huge leap in the wrong direction. My parents can even attest to the fact that my report form looked like an alphabet chart...with most grades being C's and D's. There was even a time I got the lowest possible grade (E). It really affected me.
This isn't to say I didn't work hard. I did study lots, and even consulted teachers on a regular basis. Nevertheless, after doing KCSE I got a grade which I didn't like and I remember my mama consoling me for weeks on end, that everything would be okay and that I needed to move on and decide what I wanted to do. Eventually, the tears ran dry and I figured out what I wanted to do. A career that would entail lots of reading, writing, talking and human interaction. That is how I found myself doing Communication.
So, I answered my friend by letting her know that it is the drive to succeed and love for what I do that motivates me to work hard. Needless to say, failure was a word I had to eliminate from my vocabulary. It is inevitable, but not something that we should dwell on. My encouragement to you is this: If you can conceive it, you can achieve it. The only barrier to you achieving your dreams is your thoughts and capability to perceive what you can or cannot accomplish.
The future may look bleak from the view in your stained lenses, but in God's perfect view, it is brighter than you can ever imagine. All you've got to do is trust in Him, work hard and smart, surround yourself with people who build you and those you can build, and finally, set smart priorities and focus on them.
In short, Never, ever, ever give up.
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
Enough with the hypocrisy! #Elections2013
Wednesday night: 2143h
Barely 48 hours after Kenyans cast their votes in one of the most historic elections, the final results are still yet to be announced. This particular elections are unique in the sense that they are the first to be carried out since the new constitution was voted in through a referendum in the year 2010. Just a little backgrounder to what I have to say next.
The previous decades have been characterized by a large class of politicians who've engrained a certain culture in the leadership of this country and poisoned the minds of people. We have had a vast majority who engulfed this country into pools of scandals, corruption, greed, nepotism and tribalism, whereas a select few have taken bold and courageous steps to deliver this beautiful land from the rungs of the mentioned vices.
Nevertheless, it seems that we hardly ever seem to learn. In the past, Kenyans would always complain that the country lacked visionary leaders and embodiments of the biblical Joshua to lead us into the promised land. However, when they did vie for presidency, what excuses did we come up with? It's not their time, they aren't seasoned enough...blah blah blah. Hypocrisy I tell you! Truth be told, I have great respect for certain people who choose to go against the status quo and attempt to change the face of this nation's leadership:
Enter Martha Karua. A tough lady, who sticks firm to her word and had no room for impunity in her heart and in the prospective government that she would form. Then came Peter Kenneth. His track record spoke volumes and his basis for running for presidency banked on his vision to tackle issues affecting this nation, as opposed to mere ethnic claims. And there are countless others, but I'll only mention these two for now. But what have we demonstrated so far? We aren't ready for visionaries. Simple!
Secondly, another burning issue in my heart is the nature of folks on social media. Popularly known as #KOT(Kenyans On Twitter). We discuss issues, talk of a Kenya we want and preach peace like there's no tomorrow. But what do we do come election day? We vote in the same ol' peeps. I mean, if the results given so far are anything to go by. As I write this, I am seething with rage and feeling sorry for ourselves and all those who did not have an opportunity to vote, since they are under our mercy. Seriously, when you vote in someone who dismissed medical officers ruthlessly when they were simply voicing their concerns, do you expect positive change? The same person that could not handle himself during a mere television interview when ambushed by "difficult" questions? A clear lack of accountability on his part!
All the same, all is not lost as some seem to have seen the light. In my home county for instance, an Asian was voted in as Member of Parliament as opposed to someone from that particular community. Word on the ground is that the outgoing MP was arrogant albeit a hard worker. Talk about a revolution! It is evident that change cannot take place overnight but great strides toward this reality must be made.
One more thing, Kenyans. Please! Let the IEBC do their job. You may think that it's an easy thing for me to say but I know firsthand how it feels to handle a general election. Having had a family member who worked as a Returning Officer in the previous election (Gachoka constituency-for the sake of credibility), I can tell you for sure that the job is tedious. From irate contestants, to security challenges amidst other obstacles, it is not a job for the faint-hearted. How much more at the managerial level? Before we start to criticize and say all sorts of nothings on our Facebook and Twitter pages, let us first understand the dynamics of the process and the arising cases. And whatever religion you ascribe to, remember all IEBC officials in your prayers, as well as anyone else involved in these elections. They may be taking quite a while to be released, but remember the Kiswahili adage, "Haraka haraka haina baraka."
And if you or your party/candidate does not win, accept defeat in all humility and focus on building a better Kenya. Period.
Meanwhile, as we preach peace on cyberspace, let us be realistic and do the same to those with no access to it.
Have a peaceful week, won't you?
Barely 48 hours after Kenyans cast their votes in one of the most historic elections, the final results are still yet to be announced. This particular elections are unique in the sense that they are the first to be carried out since the new constitution was voted in through a referendum in the year 2010. Just a little backgrounder to what I have to say next.
The previous decades have been characterized by a large class of politicians who've engrained a certain culture in the leadership of this country and poisoned the minds of people. We have had a vast majority who engulfed this country into pools of scandals, corruption, greed, nepotism and tribalism, whereas a select few have taken bold and courageous steps to deliver this beautiful land from the rungs of the mentioned vices.
Nevertheless, it seems that we hardly ever seem to learn. In the past, Kenyans would always complain that the country lacked visionary leaders and embodiments of the biblical Joshua to lead us into the promised land. However, when they did vie for presidency, what excuses did we come up with? It's not their time, they aren't seasoned enough...blah blah blah. Hypocrisy I tell you! Truth be told, I have great respect for certain people who choose to go against the status quo and attempt to change the face of this nation's leadership:
Enter Martha Karua. A tough lady, who sticks firm to her word and had no room for impunity in her heart and in the prospective government that she would form. Then came Peter Kenneth. His track record spoke volumes and his basis for running for presidency banked on his vision to tackle issues affecting this nation, as opposed to mere ethnic claims. And there are countless others, but I'll only mention these two for now. But what have we demonstrated so far? We aren't ready for visionaries. Simple!
Secondly, another burning issue in my heart is the nature of folks on social media. Popularly known as #KOT(Kenyans On Twitter). We discuss issues, talk of a Kenya we want and preach peace like there's no tomorrow. But what do we do come election day? We vote in the same ol' peeps. I mean, if the results given so far are anything to go by. As I write this, I am seething with rage and feeling sorry for ourselves and all those who did not have an opportunity to vote, since they are under our mercy. Seriously, when you vote in someone who dismissed medical officers ruthlessly when they were simply voicing their concerns, do you expect positive change? The same person that could not handle himself during a mere television interview when ambushed by "difficult" questions? A clear lack of accountability on his part!
All the same, all is not lost as some seem to have seen the light. In my home county for instance, an Asian was voted in as Member of Parliament as opposed to someone from that particular community. Word on the ground is that the outgoing MP was arrogant albeit a hard worker. Talk about a revolution! It is evident that change cannot take place overnight but great strides toward this reality must be made.
One more thing, Kenyans. Please! Let the IEBC do their job. You may think that it's an easy thing for me to say but I know firsthand how it feels to handle a general election. Having had a family member who worked as a Returning Officer in the previous election (Gachoka constituency-for the sake of credibility), I can tell you for sure that the job is tedious. From irate contestants, to security challenges amidst other obstacles, it is not a job for the faint-hearted. How much more at the managerial level? Before we start to criticize and say all sorts of nothings on our Facebook and Twitter pages, let us first understand the dynamics of the process and the arising cases. And whatever religion you ascribe to, remember all IEBC officials in your prayers, as well as anyone else involved in these elections. They may be taking quite a while to be released, but remember the Kiswahili adage, "Haraka haraka haina baraka."
And if you or your party/candidate does not win, accept defeat in all humility and focus on building a better Kenya. Period.
Meanwhile, as we preach peace on cyberspace, let us be realistic and do the same to those with no access to it.
Have a peaceful week, won't you?
Thursday, 28 February 2013
After Monday, what next?
Forgive my prolonged silence, so much has been happening..it's almost overwhelming. But here we are and thank the Lord for that. Of course at the moment, almost every daily, blog and timeline is abuzz with the election fever and speculation as to which candidate will bag the top seat in our beloved motherland Kenya. Likewise, the message of peace has been preached like never before, as no one definitely wants to go back to the dark period in 07-08 where people slaughtered each other mercilessly and clouds of hate and bitterness rent the atmosphere.
The steps and measures which Kenyans have taken this time to emphasize the gospel of peace are quite commendable. Nevertheless, something deeply worries me. The vigor with which we preach peace on social media and the internet is definitely something. But what about the thousands on the ground who barely have anything to eat let alone afford the luxury of the internet? What about those young ones that have been brought up knowing nothing but violence and tribal strife as a way of life? Sure it is hypocritical of me to be saying this 3 days prior to the D-day...but a different perspective can do no harm once in a while. After we go to the polls on March 4th, life will go on. I will continue being a student, and you will keep doing what you do. So, the choice is yours.
Honestly, I've got nothing more to say other than the obvious: Ensure you vote, vote wisely and preach peace. Not just to your virtual friends on cyberspace but with every single person you come across: the Mama Mbogas, the kiosk owners...and every living breathing being. Remember, in God's eyes we are all equal. Some may have positions of influence and power, but at the end of the day, we are just but human beings with red blood flowing in our veins and made by the same Creator.
That said, have a wonderful and peaceful year ahead!
The steps and measures which Kenyans have taken this time to emphasize the gospel of peace are quite commendable. Nevertheless, something deeply worries me. The vigor with which we preach peace on social media and the internet is definitely something. But what about the thousands on the ground who barely have anything to eat let alone afford the luxury of the internet? What about those young ones that have been brought up knowing nothing but violence and tribal strife as a way of life? Sure it is hypocritical of me to be saying this 3 days prior to the D-day...but a different perspective can do no harm once in a while. After we go to the polls on March 4th, life will go on. I will continue being a student, and you will keep doing what you do. So, the choice is yours.
Honestly, I've got nothing more to say other than the obvious: Ensure you vote, vote wisely and preach peace. Not just to your virtual friends on cyberspace but with every single person you come across: the Mama Mbogas, the kiosk owners...and every living breathing being. Remember, in God's eyes we are all equal. Some may have positions of influence and power, but at the end of the day, we are just but human beings with red blood flowing in our veins and made by the same Creator.
That said, have a wonderful and peaceful year ahead!
Friday, 25 January 2013
The Rise of Narcissism
“I am in love with you', I responded.
He laughed the most beguiling and gentle laugh.
'Of course you are,' he replied. 'I understand perfectly because I'm in love with myself. The fact that I'm not transfixed in front of the nearest mirror takes a great deal of self-control.'
It was my turn to laugh.”
― Anne Rice
According to dictionary.reference.com, Narcissism is defined as the inordinate fascination with oneself, excessive self-love and a great extent of ego-centrism. A more detailed definition elucidates it as the erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes.
The word "Narcissism" was coined from Narcissus, a character from an ancient Greek myth. The story goes, that Narcissus, a handsome young man was the son of river god Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and loved by god Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. However, this handsome young man was not only proud, but selfish as well. In fact, so self-absorbed was he, that he rejected all his male suitors and did not think anyone was good enough for him. One time, Aminias, a male suitor expressed his love for Narcissus, but like all the rest, he was rejected. Heartbroken, crushed and dejected, Aminias killed himself at Narcissus' doorstep, crying out to the gods to punish the man he once loved for all the pain he had evoked.
One day, as Narcissus was taking a walk, he passed by a river to drink some water. On seeing his reflection, he fell in love with his beauty and became entranced by it. He was so obsessed with himself and remained there for the rest of his life dazed at his beauty. Unfortunately, he was sorrowful and lonely, and eventually died out of his misery.
Today, the story is no different. Fashion magazines and reality TV shows constantly tell us to change this, change that, love yourself above all...it goes on and on. The love of self in this day and age is adulated almost more than anything. Over the years, advertisers have used and still continue to use this undertone to promote products and services, i.e. to be accepted, get a nose job. For you to be beautiful, get that outfit. If you really wanna fit it in, buy those shoes (which cost more than half of your salary by the way). Sadly, so self-absorbed are we, that we find ourselves drowning in a myriad of fads which promise a lifetime of happiness and acceptance only if we ascribe to them. But all it does is leave us as hollow as an abyss and yearning for something so great and beyond our reach.
Narcissism has indeed carved its niche in the lives of people today. How do we know this? Simple! People's actions more often than not leave alot to be desired. It's a me-me-me world out there. And no, 'survival for the fittest' should be no excuse for being smug, vain and self-centered. What happened to the days when everyone was everyone's keeper? What happened to chivalry? What happened to courtesy? It barely takes a minute to say sorry, excuse me or thank you. But no, we don't have time for anyone else since we are too much in a hurry to get to who-knows-where.
Classic example: My next-door neighbors' repugnant mannerisms (Don't worry I'm 99.9% sure they aren't reading this...and if they are, the better!). These peeps moved in about 4 months ago and believe you me, this once quiet neighborhood has only been turned into an eerily noisy place akin to barbarism. I mean, who wakes up early (5am) on a Sunday/Monday morning, cursing at the top of their lungs and banging things on the wall as if there's no tomorrow? Anyway, we eventually figured out that it was indeed not a home but a business premise; illegal according to City Council by-laws as it was located in a residential area. So we gently approached these people asking them to be sensitive and wary of the fact that actual human beings (with feelings, families and babies) were living in the vicinity. My oh my, it only seemed to make things worse as the next day they were awake in the wee hours of the morning, and their conversation, more like yelling actually, was only too decorated in profanity and other unmentionables. By Jove!
If only these recalcitrant people weren't too absorbed in themselves. I could vent and vent for ages but that won't solve anything. My point is this: Man is a social being. It's no coincidence that we live with 6 billion plus people on this earth, therefore interaction is inevitable. There is so much power in togetherness, in team work, in unity. When you take the focus off yourself, and see the beauty in other people, you will ultimately find this rewarding.
Finally, some of the richest people aren't necessarily those with the most money or wealth. They are the ones who invest the lives of others with all sincerity and passion. If you doubt this, ask any genuine Sunday School teacher or lecturer.
He laughed the most beguiling and gentle laugh.
'Of course you are,' he replied. 'I understand perfectly because I'm in love with myself. The fact that I'm not transfixed in front of the nearest mirror takes a great deal of self-control.'
It was my turn to laugh.”
― Anne Rice
According to dictionary.reference.com, Narcissism is defined as the inordinate fascination with oneself, excessive self-love and a great extent of ego-centrism. A more detailed definition elucidates it as the erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes.
The word "Narcissism" was coined from Narcissus, a character from an ancient Greek myth. The story goes, that Narcissus, a handsome young man was the son of river god Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and loved by god Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. However, this handsome young man was not only proud, but selfish as well. In fact, so self-absorbed was he, that he rejected all his male suitors and did not think anyone was good enough for him. One time, Aminias, a male suitor expressed his love for Narcissus, but like all the rest, he was rejected. Heartbroken, crushed and dejected, Aminias killed himself at Narcissus' doorstep, crying out to the gods to punish the man he once loved for all the pain he had evoked.
One day, as Narcissus was taking a walk, he passed by a river to drink some water. On seeing his reflection, he fell in love with his beauty and became entranced by it. He was so obsessed with himself and remained there for the rest of his life dazed at his beauty. Unfortunately, he was sorrowful and lonely, and eventually died out of his misery.
Today, the story is no different. Fashion magazines and reality TV shows constantly tell us to change this, change that, love yourself above all...it goes on and on. The love of self in this day and age is adulated almost more than anything. Over the years, advertisers have used and still continue to use this undertone to promote products and services, i.e. to be accepted, get a nose job. For you to be beautiful, get that outfit. If you really wanna fit it in, buy those shoes (which cost more than half of your salary by the way). Sadly, so self-absorbed are we, that we find ourselves drowning in a myriad of fads which promise a lifetime of happiness and acceptance only if we ascribe to them. But all it does is leave us as hollow as an abyss and yearning for something so great and beyond our reach.
Narcissism has indeed carved its niche in the lives of people today. How do we know this? Simple! People's actions more often than not leave alot to be desired. It's a me-me-me world out there. And no, 'survival for the fittest' should be no excuse for being smug, vain and self-centered. What happened to the days when everyone was everyone's keeper? What happened to chivalry? What happened to courtesy? It barely takes a minute to say sorry, excuse me or thank you. But no, we don't have time for anyone else since we are too much in a hurry to get to who-knows-where.
Classic example: My next-door neighbors' repugnant mannerisms (Don't worry I'm 99.9% sure they aren't reading this...and if they are, the better!). These peeps moved in about 4 months ago and believe you me, this once quiet neighborhood has only been turned into an eerily noisy place akin to barbarism. I mean, who wakes up early (5am) on a Sunday/Monday morning, cursing at the top of their lungs and banging things on the wall as if there's no tomorrow? Anyway, we eventually figured out that it was indeed not a home but a business premise; illegal according to City Council by-laws as it was located in a residential area. So we gently approached these people asking them to be sensitive and wary of the fact that actual human beings (with feelings, families and babies) were living in the vicinity. My oh my, it only seemed to make things worse as the next day they were awake in the wee hours of the morning, and their conversation, more like yelling actually, was only too decorated in profanity and other unmentionables. By Jove!
If only these recalcitrant people weren't too absorbed in themselves. I could vent and vent for ages but that won't solve anything. My point is this: Man is a social being. It's no coincidence that we live with 6 billion plus people on this earth, therefore interaction is inevitable. There is so much power in togetherness, in team work, in unity. When you take the focus off yourself, and see the beauty in other people, you will ultimately find this rewarding.
Finally, some of the richest people aren't necessarily those with the most money or wealth. They are the ones who invest the lives of others with all sincerity and passion. If you doubt this, ask any genuine Sunday School teacher or lecturer.
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
What is pain?
My dictionary puts it this way:
>>Pain is the feeling of great discomfort you have, for example when you have been hurt or when you are ill.
>>Pain is the feeling of unhappiness that you have when something unpleasant or upsetting happens.
You may be wondering where I'm getting at with this talk about pain. Considering the fact that right now almost everyone on social media is bubbling on and on about their happy holidays and the fun times, compounded with reflections amassed from 2012. It's everywhere actually; from the television to radio...kinda cliche if you ask me, so I'll just conform but with a slightly different approach.
As I pored through the pages of this addictive novel I've been reading, I let my mind wander a bit. I thought about the past 12 months, the highs and lows of my life and those of my loved ones; some memories brought shudders, others engulfed my frame with a wave of nostalgia. But one thing struck me in all this. During the times I underwent bouts of pain (i.e. physical, emotional...), my faith and resolve to pull through was pushed to a corner and challenged to the max. Human beings dread pain. I'm not talking about the cancer type of pain, that's different and rather sensitive altogether. What I'm referring to here is the type of pain that life swings our way on a daily basis; death, disappointments at work/school, broken friendships and relationships, emotional baggage...the list is endless.
Different people deal with these in different ways. While some find themselves a little too inebriated time and again, others choose less toxic outlets such as seeing therapists, talking about it and praying. But lets just face it, seldom do people resort to taking the latter option as a means to dealing with pain. More often than not, we shut up, keep it all inside and smile to the world as if everything's A-Okay! But guess what?
You can fool the world, but you can't fool yourself.
This song by Faith Evans:
If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't take away the pain coz I know it made me who I am...
Before I veer off the track, let me bring the point home. When we undergo experiences that thrush us out of our comfort zones, we are challenged to take risks and tread on paths that we may or may not like. Think about pain. It distracts you from thinking and feeling like you always do, simply because it takes you to an unfamiliar terrain and a not-too-pleasing level of discomfort. When life is smooth and the challenges that often accompany it are absent, we are tempted to become comfortable and take things for granted. Pain is one thing that sure puts things into perspective. At least that's how I choose to look at it. For instance, as Christians, in many cases we find our intercessory antennas on high alert when things are thick. True or true? Pain is a constant reminder albeit unpopular, of our human nature. Pain knows no social status, age, sex, race and any other label which human beings stamp on each other. It hits hard, any day, anytime, anywhere. In simple terms, pain is inevitable. However, how you to choose to react is all within your control. If you choose to end your life as a means to end your pain, so be it; but remember there's a consequence. If you choose to keep it all inside, do so, but ensure it does not eat you up or pore into your everyday activities. All in all, learn from it, and make the right choices henceforth.
Nevertheless, you do not have to wait for something big and painful to happen for you to take action in your life.
Don't wait to lose a loved one in order to realize the importance of showing love everyday.
Do not wait for disappointments to teach you lessons, without which you could have learnt.
Don't wait for problems to bombard your way in order to get down on your knees in prayer.
In short, what have I learned from 2012? Pray. Talk. Learn. Move on.
Happy Holidays and a Prosperous 2013 <3
>>Pain is the feeling of great discomfort you have, for example when you have been hurt or when you are ill.
>>Pain is the feeling of unhappiness that you have when something unpleasant or upsetting happens.
You may be wondering where I'm getting at with this talk about pain. Considering the fact that right now almost everyone on social media is bubbling on and on about their happy holidays and the fun times, compounded with reflections amassed from 2012. It's everywhere actually; from the television to radio...kinda cliche if you ask me, so I'll just conform but with a slightly different approach.
As I pored through the pages of this addictive novel I've been reading, I let my mind wander a bit. I thought about the past 12 months, the highs and lows of my life and those of my loved ones; some memories brought shudders, others engulfed my frame with a wave of nostalgia. But one thing struck me in all this. During the times I underwent bouts of pain (i.e. physical, emotional...), my faith and resolve to pull through was pushed to a corner and challenged to the max. Human beings dread pain. I'm not talking about the cancer type of pain, that's different and rather sensitive altogether. What I'm referring to here is the type of pain that life swings our way on a daily basis; death, disappointments at work/school, broken friendships and relationships, emotional baggage...the list is endless.
Different people deal with these in different ways. While some find themselves a little too inebriated time and again, others choose less toxic outlets such as seeing therapists, talking about it and praying. But lets just face it, seldom do people resort to taking the latter option as a means to dealing with pain. More often than not, we shut up, keep it all inside and smile to the world as if everything's A-Okay! But guess what?
You can fool the world, but you can't fool yourself.
This song by Faith Evans:
If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't take away the pain coz I know it made me who I am...
Before I veer off the track, let me bring the point home. When we undergo experiences that thrush us out of our comfort zones, we are challenged to take risks and tread on paths that we may or may not like. Think about pain. It distracts you from thinking and feeling like you always do, simply because it takes you to an unfamiliar terrain and a not-too-pleasing level of discomfort. When life is smooth and the challenges that often accompany it are absent, we are tempted to become comfortable and take things for granted. Pain is one thing that sure puts things into perspective. At least that's how I choose to look at it. For instance, as Christians, in many cases we find our intercessory antennas on high alert when things are thick. True or true? Pain is a constant reminder albeit unpopular, of our human nature. Pain knows no social status, age, sex, race and any other label which human beings stamp on each other. It hits hard, any day, anytime, anywhere. In simple terms, pain is inevitable. However, how you to choose to react is all within your control. If you choose to end your life as a means to end your pain, so be it; but remember there's a consequence. If you choose to keep it all inside, do so, but ensure it does not eat you up or pore into your everyday activities. All in all, learn from it, and make the right choices henceforth.
Nevertheless, you do not have to wait for something big and painful to happen for you to take action in your life.
Don't wait to lose a loved one in order to realize the importance of showing love everyday.
Do not wait for disappointments to teach you lessons, without which you could have learnt.
Don't wait for problems to bombard your way in order to get down on your knees in prayer.
In short, what have I learned from 2012? Pray. Talk. Learn. Move on.
Happy Holidays and a Prosperous 2013 <3
Monday, 17 December 2012
Draw you Near...
Well, today I woke up with a heavy heart, not knowing what to think, what to pray for anymore. These days, there's barely anything to smile about...I mean, with all the deaths happening around us, sickness, political madness, it's too much. But in the midst of all this, or any other storm you may be facing in your life, God's love and peace is there to keep you, and His love is the only thing that can illuminate your life and strengthen you.
The first song that popped into mind was Out of Eden's, Draw you near. Here are lyrics and the link to the video as well. Be blessed!
"I woke up on this morning
And misery surrounded me
And I am forced to face a day
I didn't even want to begin
God knows I'm going through it
And it's hard to imagine I can make it this time
As my sadness mounts I pray that this day will end
Cry myself to sleep and then start again
When the world loses its luster
And you're feeling sad and lonely
And you need someone to be there
In your time of need
You can turn your eyes to the heavens
And their creator's watching over you
With arms of love to hold you and draw you near
You're in the midst of heartache
Perhaps you've lost a loved one
Lost all your faith-can barely pray
For the strength you need to go on
Well, darling don't give up now
I know that inevitably this too shall pass
Trouble doesn't last always
Hold on through the pain
I believe the sun will outlast your rain..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlryPIZDowM"
The first song that popped into mind was Out of Eden's, Draw you near. Here are lyrics and the link to the video as well. Be blessed!
"I woke up on this morning
And misery surrounded me
And I am forced to face a day
I didn't even want to begin
God knows I'm going through it
And it's hard to imagine I can make it this time
As my sadness mounts I pray that this day will end
Cry myself to sleep and then start again
When the world loses its luster
And you're feeling sad and lonely
And you need someone to be there
In your time of need
You can turn your eyes to the heavens
And their creator's watching over you
With arms of love to hold you and draw you near
You're in the midst of heartache
Perhaps you've lost a loved one
Lost all your faith-can barely pray
For the strength you need to go on
Well, darling don't give up now
I know that inevitably this too shall pass
Trouble doesn't last always
Hold on through the pain
I believe the sun will outlast your rain..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlryPIZDowM"
Thursday, 6 December 2012
The Walls of Love
First off, I'll start by apologizing for the profound silence, my semester projects have taken quite a toll on me. They've been really tough yet enjoyable in equal measure. All the same, there's this little, (okay it's not so little) issue regarding relationships, and marriage to some extent that's been on my mind for a while now, and it's about time I said something.
I know there's been this hullabaloo and endless talk over the past decade about modern-day dating and all that comes along with it. Common terms go something like, no strings attached, come-we-stay, open relationship, and that Cecile song where she says she would cook, clean, and do all those wifely duties for her man, although there's no mention of marriage anywhere in the song. Get my drift? Nonetheless, we justify these little untruths, so to speak, with the fact that we are living in the 21st century. Lies I tell you! If we claim that the moral parameters that our parents and grandparents lived in are archaic and irrelevant, then why is it that we have hearts breaking all around us everyday? Why are there so many baby mamas struggling to bring up their little ones on their own? Why are so many people being caught up in the sting of sexually transmitted diseases? Why are people finding themselves bound in painful pasts, unable to let go of former flames?
Something somewhere isn't right. And can't really put my finger on where we lost it. Anyway, not so long ago while growing up, our mums and aunties taught us young girls not to let men touch us, or we'd fall pregnant. Pregnancy out of wedlock was painted as a huge sin, which would taint a girl's destiny forever, although it's evident that this isn't always the case. There was always that one girl/guy we were told never to emulate or we'd be doomed for life. I guess this new age thinking got some of us out the box of "tradition" and "values" which were actually out to help us in the long run.
Nowadays, a great load of the content that characterizes our magazines has got to do with relationships and the juicy stuff that teases the eye. And many headlines go something like, "Why can't I find a decent man?" or "Why can't I stay attracted to the same guy/girl?" The answer is really simple in my opinion. These days, we ladies in particular make it very easy for guys to have their way with us and move on to the next conquest like nothing ever happened. Reason being, we give them benefits which are quite similar to what their married counterparts receive in their matrimonial homes, probably even more than they do. So, if a single guy is getting the same great thing from more different women, what solid reason would he have to stay committed to one? Don't get me wrong, I'm speaking from a very abstract point of view. There are some pretty good respectful guys out there, as well as money-thirsty and material-driven ladies too.
What I'm driving at is that today, it is quite rare to find romantically involved partners operating within certain boundaries. I guess, that's because we choose not to have them. Rules and boundaries are there to help us, not to punish us. For instance, soccer (the game which most male folk are so fond of)wouldn't be soccer if its rules did not exist. And that's the beauty of it. Think about walls. They set distinctions as to how far you can go, and allow some sense of privacy. I bet every human being has come across some set of rules somewhere along the journey of life. Be it in the home, school, at work, on the roads; these rules help maintain an impeccable sense of order and sanity. Therefore, if we can religiously follow rules and guidelines set by other people, why can't we implement the same in our relationships and friendships?
Please correct me if I'm wrong but I think that there is a large group of peeps out there with double standards. Serious double standards! Too many guys say that they love a girl with self-respect, standards, takes care of herself, blah blah blah, and if she's a virgin? That's a plus! However, these same people are the ones who go out there, deflower everything in a skirt then sit back and say, "I want me a good woman." Really? Hypocritical is an understatement. As my Statistics Professor once said, you think you're the bad-a** guy? Wait till you get children of your own. And you will pay for all the sins you committed as a young person. In short, to find the one, be the one.
To put things into perspective, this what I'm saying. Just because every mag and tabloid out there tells you to do something, doesn't mean you have to. So far through my own experiences (and those of others), I've learned that patience is a virtue. It pays to wait. There's also nothing as important as making peace with yourself and believing in your capability to achieve the best. If you have inner confidence and a great level of self-worth, nothing and no one will deter you from getting that which you deserve. If you want to make it big in life, it starts from the inside. You cannot afford to live an ordinary life just like everyone else. Self-discipline and boundaries in your life are things that you may need to incorporate in your every-day dealings.
With regard to what I mentioned earlier about relationships and marriage, I am convinced now more than ever that following Biblical principles and making them yours is the way to go. Just last Saturday, I attended a close-friend's wedding. The preacher gave a very realistic sermonette about marriage, and what stood out most for me is that a chord of 3 strands is not easily broken (i.e. God, you, your partner). The mistake which lots of couples make today is letting too many people in their love lives, and allowing them to run the show. Hence the importance of setting clear, distinct boundaries. She further conducted a little exercise to prove that marriage indeed does last. She asked couples who'd been married for 0-5 years to stand; 6-10, 11-15...and believe you me they were many! The oldest couple present had been married for 48 years and the man said he loved his "girl" at that time more than ever. In short, the world may tell you that there's a shortcut, but we all know that shortcuts lead to hell.
Bottomline? God, the Bible, morals. They will take you where others cannot.
~Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment~ Maxwell Maltz
I know there's been this hullabaloo and endless talk over the past decade about modern-day dating and all that comes along with it. Common terms go something like, no strings attached, come-we-stay, open relationship, and that Cecile song where she says she would cook, clean, and do all those wifely duties for her man, although there's no mention of marriage anywhere in the song. Get my drift? Nonetheless, we justify these little untruths, so to speak, with the fact that we are living in the 21st century. Lies I tell you! If we claim that the moral parameters that our parents and grandparents lived in are archaic and irrelevant, then why is it that we have hearts breaking all around us everyday? Why are there so many baby mamas struggling to bring up their little ones on their own? Why are so many people being caught up in the sting of sexually transmitted diseases? Why are people finding themselves bound in painful pasts, unable to let go of former flames?
Something somewhere isn't right. And can't really put my finger on where we lost it. Anyway, not so long ago while growing up, our mums and aunties taught us young girls not to let men touch us, or we'd fall pregnant. Pregnancy out of wedlock was painted as a huge sin, which would taint a girl's destiny forever, although it's evident that this isn't always the case. There was always that one girl/guy we were told never to emulate or we'd be doomed for life. I guess this new age thinking got some of us out the box of "tradition" and "values" which were actually out to help us in the long run.
Nowadays, a great load of the content that characterizes our magazines has got to do with relationships and the juicy stuff that teases the eye. And many headlines go something like, "Why can't I find a decent man?" or "Why can't I stay attracted to the same guy/girl?" The answer is really simple in my opinion. These days, we ladies in particular make it very easy for guys to have their way with us and move on to the next conquest like nothing ever happened. Reason being, we give them benefits which are quite similar to what their married counterparts receive in their matrimonial homes, probably even more than they do. So, if a single guy is getting the same great thing from more different women, what solid reason would he have to stay committed to one? Don't get me wrong, I'm speaking from a very abstract point of view. There are some pretty good respectful guys out there, as well as money-thirsty and material-driven ladies too.
What I'm driving at is that today, it is quite rare to find romantically involved partners operating within certain boundaries. I guess, that's because we choose not to have them. Rules and boundaries are there to help us, not to punish us. For instance, soccer (the game which most male folk are so fond of)wouldn't be soccer if its rules did not exist. And that's the beauty of it. Think about walls. They set distinctions as to how far you can go, and allow some sense of privacy. I bet every human being has come across some set of rules somewhere along the journey of life. Be it in the home, school, at work, on the roads; these rules help maintain an impeccable sense of order and sanity. Therefore, if we can religiously follow rules and guidelines set by other people, why can't we implement the same in our relationships and friendships?
Please correct me if I'm wrong but I think that there is a large group of peeps out there with double standards. Serious double standards! Too many guys say that they love a girl with self-respect, standards, takes care of herself, blah blah blah, and if she's a virgin? That's a plus! However, these same people are the ones who go out there, deflower everything in a skirt then sit back and say, "I want me a good woman." Really? Hypocritical is an understatement. As my Statistics Professor once said, you think you're the bad-a** guy? Wait till you get children of your own. And you will pay for all the sins you committed as a young person. In short, to find the one, be the one.
To put things into perspective, this what I'm saying. Just because every mag and tabloid out there tells you to do something, doesn't mean you have to. So far through my own experiences (and those of others), I've learned that patience is a virtue. It pays to wait. There's also nothing as important as making peace with yourself and believing in your capability to achieve the best. If you have inner confidence and a great level of self-worth, nothing and no one will deter you from getting that which you deserve. If you want to make it big in life, it starts from the inside. You cannot afford to live an ordinary life just like everyone else. Self-discipline and boundaries in your life are things that you may need to incorporate in your every-day dealings.
With regard to what I mentioned earlier about relationships and marriage, I am convinced now more than ever that following Biblical principles and making them yours is the way to go. Just last Saturday, I attended a close-friend's wedding. The preacher gave a very realistic sermonette about marriage, and what stood out most for me is that a chord of 3 strands is not easily broken (i.e. God, you, your partner). The mistake which lots of couples make today is letting too many people in their love lives, and allowing them to run the show. Hence the importance of setting clear, distinct boundaries. She further conducted a little exercise to prove that marriage indeed does last. She asked couples who'd been married for 0-5 years to stand; 6-10, 11-15...and believe you me they were many! The oldest couple present had been married for 48 years and the man said he loved his "girl" at that time more than ever. In short, the world may tell you that there's a shortcut, but we all know that shortcuts lead to hell.
Bottomline? God, the Bible, morals. They will take you where others cannot.
~Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment~ Maxwell Maltz
Sunday, 25 November 2012
The Bible and The Cell Phone
Here's a reflective piece I stumbled upon a week ago. Not quite sure who wrote it, but hope you enjoy :-)
Ever wondered what would happen if you treated your Bible like you treat your cell phone?
What if you carried it around in your purse or pockets?
What if you flipped through it several times a day?
What if you turned back to go get if you forgot it?
What if you used it to receive messages from the text?
What if you treated it like you couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if you used it when you travelled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go..."Hmmm..where is my Bible?"
Oh, and one more thing.
Unlike your cell phone, you don't have to worry about your Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
So, what's more important? You decide!
Ever wondered what would happen if you treated your Bible like you treat your cell phone?
What if you carried it around in your purse or pockets?
What if you flipped through it several times a day?
What if you turned back to go get if you forgot it?
What if you used it to receive messages from the text?
What if you treated it like you couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if you used it when you travelled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go..."Hmmm..where is my Bible?"
Oh, and one more thing.
Unlike your cell phone, you don't have to worry about your Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
So, what's more important? You decide!
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Pick yourself up
Disappointment is inevitable, misery is optional
There are things that take place in our lives that make us question whether indeed doing the right thing is actually worth it. Just about two days ago, I had one earth-shattering terrible day. I don't think there are enough adjectives to describe the foul feeling that engulfed my being that day. There's this joke that goes around, "Dear life, when I asked 'could my day get any worse,' it wasn't meant to be a challenge." It was my mantra for that day. What's worse is when you give something your all, only for it to come crashing down in your face. It could be a project, relationship, business deal, you name it.
It is important to appreciate the diversity in other people and to recognize the fact that we are all different for a reason. We can't all be Obama or Oprah, but we are us. You are you. In order for you to make the most out of this life, you've got to embrace and appreciate who you really are - inside and outside; before you step out into the world. On that note, it is also important to note that we come from different backgrounds and no two experiences we undergo are identical. There are those of us who are outgoing, others are reserved. Some are perfectionists, others couldn't care less for detail. Some love sports, others (like me) dread it to the core. Not forgetting the lazy ones and the hardworking ones. Nevertheless, in spite of the unique variations in diversity which we hold, we should strive to do what is right and be sensitive to the feelings of others.
What am I saying? In simple terms, if you invest a certain part of your time, energy, emotions, and work into carrying out a specific task and it crumbles ultimately, don't give up. The most common among students in my opinion, happens whereby you may be working in a group and most likely, you encounter the one or two difficult individuals who may end up ruining your work and making every wad of effort you gave, plunge down to nothing. However, such circumstances shouldn't put you down. Keeping your cool when things don't go your way is one definite mark of maturity we all must learn to inculcate in our lives. If you are meticulous in what you do, don't let a little obstacle or hitch make you deviate from your core calling. Instead, invest even more effort in your next project and for sure it will pay off some day. For one, your credibility will never be tarnished, as your work will speak for itself. Secondly, winning the little wars within our minds gives us the push that we need to tackle even greater battles that may be beyond our control.
And just the other day, my ever-so-wise better half (and he appears here again!) spent quite a while drilling a simple but forgotten truth into my head, that "perfection is a mystery I would have to kill"- if I expected results and progress in my endeavors. Like I said at the beginning, "Disappointment is inevitable but misery is optional."
When things don't go your way, you have a choice. You can choose to be gloomy or put a smile on your face and move on!
Have a fruitful day, won't you?
There are things that take place in our lives that make us question whether indeed doing the right thing is actually worth it. Just about two days ago, I had one earth-shattering terrible day. I don't think there are enough adjectives to describe the foul feeling that engulfed my being that day. There's this joke that goes around, "Dear life, when I asked 'could my day get any worse,' it wasn't meant to be a challenge." It was my mantra for that day. What's worse is when you give something your all, only for it to come crashing down in your face. It could be a project, relationship, business deal, you name it.
It is important to appreciate the diversity in other people and to recognize the fact that we are all different for a reason. We can't all be Obama or Oprah, but we are us. You are you. In order for you to make the most out of this life, you've got to embrace and appreciate who you really are - inside and outside; before you step out into the world. On that note, it is also important to note that we come from different backgrounds and no two experiences we undergo are identical. There are those of us who are outgoing, others are reserved. Some are perfectionists, others couldn't care less for detail. Some love sports, others (like me) dread it to the core. Not forgetting the lazy ones and the hardworking ones. Nevertheless, in spite of the unique variations in diversity which we hold, we should strive to do what is right and be sensitive to the feelings of others.
What am I saying? In simple terms, if you invest a certain part of your time, energy, emotions, and work into carrying out a specific task and it crumbles ultimately, don't give up. The most common among students in my opinion, happens whereby you may be working in a group and most likely, you encounter the one or two difficult individuals who may end up ruining your work and making every wad of effort you gave, plunge down to nothing. However, such circumstances shouldn't put you down. Keeping your cool when things don't go your way is one definite mark of maturity we all must learn to inculcate in our lives. If you are meticulous in what you do, don't let a little obstacle or hitch make you deviate from your core calling. Instead, invest even more effort in your next project and for sure it will pay off some day. For one, your credibility will never be tarnished, as your work will speak for itself. Secondly, winning the little wars within our minds gives us the push that we need to tackle even greater battles that may be beyond our control.
And just the other day, my ever-so-wise better half (and he appears here again!) spent quite a while drilling a simple but forgotten truth into my head, that "perfection is a mystery I would have to kill"- if I expected results and progress in my endeavors. Like I said at the beginning, "Disappointment is inevitable but misery is optional."
When things don't go your way, you have a choice. You can choose to be gloomy or put a smile on your face and move on!
Have a fruitful day, won't you?
Saturday, 3 November 2012
A girl's best friend...
Saturday Afternoon: It's Man-united vs Arsenal FC; this game is too depressing as I'm a Gooner for life! Just switched to something more girly, i.e. Samantha's Bridal, *sigh* the heart feels better. My team is already 2 points less...Let's leave it at that. So I let my mind wander a little bit...
BFF, diamonds, heels, diary...the list goes on. The often overlooked yet crucial thing every girl needs is a best friend . And not just one, but most or all of the above. Women are highly expressive emotional beings, who like to talk and be heard as well. We love to cry, to binge on that mouthwatering voluptuous Galito's chicken or ultra-creamy white forest cake- depending on the nature of the craving and time of the month; and we love expressing love to those we love. Anyway, there are those things that we cannot do without and are listed below:
>>B.F.F. -Also goes by the name 'best friend forever.' This is the girl(s) who will be there for you through thick and thin. She's seen you at your worst, knows you inside out, has your little secrets at heart and would fight for you if anyone did try to hurt you. We all need that friend we can count on, besides, friends are like chocolate chips in the cookies of life; they make life a whole lot sweeter and a little less harder. All the same, instead of looking for a bff or complaining that people are just not genuine enough these days, be the friend.
>>Diamonds - Have been said to be a girl's best friend, for over hundreds of years now. And for sure they are. Of course the term 'diamonds' is an umbrella term for those shiny pieces of stone that we adorn on our gorgeous bodies every once in a while. Different women have different preferences, some like silver, others like myself love pearls (hint), and others like gold. These are the tiny but precious commodities that highlight our God-given beauty. Ever noticed how your self-esteem gets boosted once you get these on? Tip to the guys...invest in diamonds and trust me, she'll never forget you. I insist on the term 'invest' because cheap is expensive. Enough said.
>>Heels - By the way, at least Arsenal have caught on with one goal. Joy! As I was saying, heels are the one commodity in the history of mankind that have always added a touch of class, elegance and sex appeal to every woman that wore them. HOWEVER, and this I cannot overemphasize. If you can't walk in them, please please pleeease! do yourself a big favor and just leave them at home. The sore sight that hits my eyes every time I see a sister struggling to move from point A to point B as if she's walking on egg-shells, sadly has become an all too common phenomenon in our society today. Nevertheless, heels are beautiful and are reserved for special occasions. Somehow whenever some of us feel depressed, the instant remedy is shopping.For heels. And this cure has proven a 99.9% success rate.
>>Diary - If you're an avid writer like yours truly, then a diary is not just a book with little sheets of paper. It's a place you can freely express your innermost thoughts, utter words you wouldn't dare mouth in public and simply be yourself, especially when you don't really wanna talk to anybody. Shame on people who read diaries that belong to others without permission, it's just plain rude and disrespectful. However, I know people who prefer to express themselves through art, songwriting, etc. So it doesn't really have to be a diary as such.
These are just some of the little things that makes us girls tick, without which life would be a whole lot boring. Can you think of any other?
Image adapted from www.stormgrounds.com
BFF, diamonds, heels, diary...the list goes on. The often overlooked yet crucial thing every girl needs is a best friend . And not just one, but most or all of the above. Women are highly expressive emotional beings, who like to talk and be heard as well. We love to cry, to binge on that mouthwatering voluptuous Galito's chicken or ultra-creamy white forest cake- depending on the nature of the craving and time of the month; and we love expressing love to those we love. Anyway, there are those things that we cannot do without and are listed below:
>>B.F.F. -Also goes by the name 'best friend forever.' This is the girl(s) who will be there for you through thick and thin. She's seen you at your worst, knows you inside out, has your little secrets at heart and would fight for you if anyone did try to hurt you. We all need that friend we can count on, besides, friends are like chocolate chips in the cookies of life; they make life a whole lot sweeter and a little less harder. All the same, instead of looking for a bff or complaining that people are just not genuine enough these days, be the friend.
>>Diamonds - Have been said to be a girl's best friend, for over hundreds of years now. And for sure they are. Of course the term 'diamonds' is an umbrella term for those shiny pieces of stone that we adorn on our gorgeous bodies every once in a while. Different women have different preferences, some like silver, others like myself love pearls (hint), and others like gold. These are the tiny but precious commodities that highlight our God-given beauty. Ever noticed how your self-esteem gets boosted once you get these on? Tip to the guys...invest in diamonds and trust me, she'll never forget you. I insist on the term 'invest' because cheap is expensive. Enough said.
>>Heels - By the way, at least Arsenal have caught on with one goal. Joy! As I was saying, heels are the one commodity in the history of mankind that have always added a touch of class, elegance and sex appeal to every woman that wore them. HOWEVER, and this I cannot overemphasize. If you can't walk in them, please please pleeease! do yourself a big favor and just leave them at home. The sore sight that hits my eyes every time I see a sister struggling to move from point A to point B as if she's walking on egg-shells, sadly has become an all too common phenomenon in our society today. Nevertheless, heels are beautiful and are reserved for special occasions. Somehow whenever some of us feel depressed, the instant remedy is shopping.For heels. And this cure has proven a 99.9% success rate.
>>Diary - If you're an avid writer like yours truly, then a diary is not just a book with little sheets of paper. It's a place you can freely express your innermost thoughts, utter words you wouldn't dare mouth in public and simply be yourself, especially when you don't really wanna talk to anybody. Shame on people who read diaries that belong to others without permission, it's just plain rude and disrespectful. However, I know people who prefer to express themselves through art, songwriting, etc. So it doesn't really have to be a diary as such.
These are just some of the little things that makes us girls tick, without which life would be a whole lot boring. Can you think of any other?
Image adapted from www.stormgrounds.com
Sunday, 28 October 2012
You're not Superman!
Just the other day I came across a tweet that really got me thinking. Can't quite remember the exact words but it talked about how people really try to save the world, yet Jesus did that when He died on the cross. I mean, none of us is Superman, (and we never will anyway) so why do we spend so much time carrying the weight of the world, yet we can barely carry our own? Yes, I know for a fact that there are people who care a little too much about the rest of the world and put their own happiness at bay for everyone else's sake. I know this because I am one of them. (This is self talk too by the way)
Recently, I found myself in a certain scuffle with someone close, and I found myself giving in to the other person's demands simply because I wanted to avoid arguing at all costs and honestly didn't want to leave a bad taste in the other person's mouth.
But thinking about it objectively, we tend to believe that being a tad too courteous is done in selfless, humble faith and is the right thing to do anyway. However, there is a very distinct line between being selfless and a doormat.
A doormat will let people walk all over them, allows others to dictate their lives and their happiness depends on other people. A selfless person on the other hand genuinely cares about others and sacrifices alot for the their sake. Nevertheless, a selfless person also knows their boundaries, which lines should be crossed and which ones shouldn't, when to speak out and when to be silent, when to act and when to hold back; the list goes on.
In simple words, it's okay to love people, but don't allow yourself to be a walkover. Besides, the good book; in Matthew 11: 28-30 (NIV) says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
So there's your answer.
Have a fruitful day, won't you?
~Don't lose yourself while trying to hold on to something/someone who doesn't care about losing you~
Recently, I found myself in a certain scuffle with someone close, and I found myself giving in to the other person's demands simply because I wanted to avoid arguing at all costs and honestly didn't want to leave a bad taste in the other person's mouth.
But thinking about it objectively, we tend to believe that being a tad too courteous is done in selfless, humble faith and is the right thing to do anyway. However, there is a very distinct line between being selfless and a doormat.
A doormat will let people walk all over them, allows others to dictate their lives and their happiness depends on other people. A selfless person on the other hand genuinely cares about others and sacrifices alot for the their sake. Nevertheless, a selfless person also knows their boundaries, which lines should be crossed and which ones shouldn't, when to speak out and when to be silent, when to act and when to hold back; the list goes on.
In simple words, it's okay to love people, but don't allow yourself to be a walkover. Besides, the good book; in Matthew 11: 28-30 (NIV) says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
So there's your answer.
Have a fruitful day, won't you?
~Don't lose yourself while trying to hold on to something/someone who doesn't care about losing you~
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
Find yourself honey!
Identity. A simple 8 letter word from which so many things crop up; both good and bad. Confidence, low self esteem, homosexuality are just but a drop of the myriad of issues which swim around this "identity" term.
I'm not the shoes I wear, I'm not the clothes I buy
I'm not the house I live in, I'm not the car I drove no,
I'm not the job I work, You can't define my worth
By nothing on God's green earth My identity is found in Christ...
...Identity is found in the God we trust, any other identity will self destruct.."
Lyrics from the song "Identity" by my favorite gospel hiphop artiste, Lecrae. Man, I totally love this song! First time I heard it was a couple of years in high school, back when I was torn in between a not-so-little girl and a young woman, trying to find her niche in life. But I'll come back to this a little later.
My e-dictionary defines identity as: who you are.
Another definition goes something like: The identity of a person or a place is the characteristics they have that distinguish them from others.
Okay, truth be told, I've been rather disturbed of late. Looking around my environment, it's rather evident that there's a certain wave of peer pressure that's being deeply taking root in people. In my opinion, this stems out from a lack of sense of worth and a great tonne of insecurity. I mean, there's a class of juvenile delinquents (I dare refer to them as such) who just hang out around each other all the time like a colony of little safari ants, downgrade and insult others to make themselves feel better, and most certainly think that being louder, moneyed and "bad" makes you that guy/girl. Not cool. Truth is, we were all born alone, and for sure we will return to dust SOLO! So the next time you decide to scream out YOLO with your buddies after downing yourself into a stupor from that lethal drink, remember that.
Back to my point...(clearly I digress a lot),it really helps to know who you really are, discover what makes you tick, find your true purpose in life, and ultimately find your identity in God. Just the other day, I bumped into a strange load of information. A certain blast from my past (not a cool blast, but a terrible one,ha!) was passing word round about how this mamacita (me) was miserable and could not live without him. This person further went to trash my name and said lotsa visibly false allegations. Guess what I did? I laughed! And that was it. I mean, if trying to make a sister feel small will give you sleep at night, knock yourself out honey! Thing is, I found who I was, what I wanted what my purpose was in life and that sure did not feature some people, so I cleared the clutter and here I am today.
I love sharing my experiences coz I believe there are some people out there that may identify with them. Back in high school, I faced a lot of rejection. Not very serious stuff, but I auditioned for some top notch clubs in school and unfortunately I did not get in to any of them. Needless to say, I was crushed, torn and heartbroken. To some this may not be a big deal, but for an overweight teenage girl battling with an illness and low self esteem, it is her world. I remember that day in form one, when I was "first formally rejected," I went to a certain tree, and cried my heart out...gawsh, I'm even getting teary as I write this. The following year was even worse. But in my third year, I hit rock bottom, my grades suffered immensely, as in, my report form had seen the range of the A's, the B's upto the E's, which was the last grade by the way! In a certain term, I was third from last in my class, yet when I joined secondary school I used be top of my class.
After I'd cried the tears till I could cry no more, I got tired and turned to my Maker; who was there all along by the way. And slowly, he lifted me up and gave me meaning for life. 3 years and a couple of heartbreaks later, here I am, happier than ever and thankful for the rain, coz it made me who I am today.
In short, NEVER ever peg your happiness or life on another person. That'll leave you unhappy, miserable and disappointed in the long run. I mean, God forbid, what if they die? what if they leave you? Does it mean your life's over too? Any time you feel tempted to look down on yourself, look into the mirror, and remind yourself that you are beautiful as you are, you are alive for a reason and God above all, loves you UNconditionally!!!
So, find yourself, find your IDENTITY,and be proud of that no matter what! There is no 'you' and there will never be anyone like you ever!!!
~When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right ones a chance to catch you~
I'm not the shoes I wear, I'm not the clothes I buy
I'm not the house I live in, I'm not the car I drove no,
I'm not the job I work, You can't define my worth
By nothing on God's green earth My identity is found in Christ...
...Identity is found in the God we trust, any other identity will self destruct.."
Lyrics from the song "Identity" by my favorite gospel hiphop artiste, Lecrae. Man, I totally love this song! First time I heard it was a couple of years in high school, back when I was torn in between a not-so-little girl and a young woman, trying to find her niche in life. But I'll come back to this a little later.
My e-dictionary defines identity as: who you are.
Another definition goes something like: The identity of a person or a place is the characteristics they have that distinguish them from others.
Okay, truth be told, I've been rather disturbed of late. Looking around my environment, it's rather evident that there's a certain wave of peer pressure that's being deeply taking root in people. In my opinion, this stems out from a lack of sense of worth and a great tonne of insecurity. I mean, there's a class of juvenile delinquents (I dare refer to them as such) who just hang out around each other all the time like a colony of little safari ants, downgrade and insult others to make themselves feel better, and most certainly think that being louder, moneyed and "bad" makes you that guy/girl. Not cool. Truth is, we were all born alone, and for sure we will return to dust SOLO! So the next time you decide to scream out YOLO with your buddies after downing yourself into a stupor from that lethal drink, remember that.
Back to my point...(clearly I digress a lot),it really helps to know who you really are, discover what makes you tick, find your true purpose in life, and ultimately find your identity in God. Just the other day, I bumped into a strange load of information. A certain blast from my past (not a cool blast, but a terrible one,ha!) was passing word round about how this mamacita (me) was miserable and could not live without him. This person further went to trash my name and said lotsa visibly false allegations. Guess what I did? I laughed! And that was it. I mean, if trying to make a sister feel small will give you sleep at night, knock yourself out honey! Thing is, I found who I was, what I wanted what my purpose was in life and that sure did not feature some people, so I cleared the clutter and here I am today.
I love sharing my experiences coz I believe there are some people out there that may identify with them. Back in high school, I faced a lot of rejection. Not very serious stuff, but I auditioned for some top notch clubs in school and unfortunately I did not get in to any of them. Needless to say, I was crushed, torn and heartbroken. To some this may not be a big deal, but for an overweight teenage girl battling with an illness and low self esteem, it is her world. I remember that day in form one, when I was "first formally rejected," I went to a certain tree, and cried my heart out...gawsh, I'm even getting teary as I write this. The following year was even worse. But in my third year, I hit rock bottom, my grades suffered immensely, as in, my report form had seen the range of the A's, the B's upto the E's, which was the last grade by the way! In a certain term, I was third from last in my class, yet when I joined secondary school I used be top of my class.
After I'd cried the tears till I could cry no more, I got tired and turned to my Maker; who was there all along by the way. And slowly, he lifted me up and gave me meaning for life. 3 years and a couple of heartbreaks later, here I am, happier than ever and thankful for the rain, coz it made me who I am today.
In short, NEVER ever peg your happiness or life on another person. That'll leave you unhappy, miserable and disappointed in the long run. I mean, God forbid, what if they die? what if they leave you? Does it mean your life's over too? Any time you feel tempted to look down on yourself, look into the mirror, and remind yourself that you are beautiful as you are, you are alive for a reason and God above all, loves you UNconditionally!!!
So, find yourself, find your IDENTITY,and be proud of that no matter what! There is no 'you' and there will never be anyone like you ever!!!
~When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right ones a chance to catch you~
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Enjoy the process
It's midnight, I am wide awake and that deeply sought-after sleep is nowhere to be found. But then again, that's what happens when you wake up at noon! (what? I'm on holiday!) Anyway, other than this vain Wendy Williams show, there really is nothing captivating to watch, despite the vast array of channels.Ironical, huh? Me thinks that tv was a whole lot better in the nineties when all we had was, The Bold and the Beautiful, The Flinstones, etc, etc. All the same I am terribly glad that the hood is quiet and I think it's because my highly inebriated neighbors must have blacked out or something..phew! Okay,, before I bore you with my detailed description of every little being in my vicinity, I'll get straight to the point. Right after I sip the very healthy vegetable juice my mama made me..(Love you mummy!!)
With reference to the title, you may be wondering what process I am referring to. I don't know about you but I tend to feel that with every stage a person finds themselves at in life, there is always some annoying pressure to move on quickly to the next. I.e, when you're through with high school, they ask, What are you doing with yourself? and no, bumming does not count as an answer. After a gruesome 4 years in a Kenyan high school, even a 2 year holiday would never be enough. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating but point is, you need to be "serious," that is, according to these kith and kin. Then enter campus. The question suddenly becomes, "Utagraduate lini?" And sure enough, you complete college. Time flies.
Before you even get to adjust to life 'out there,' they're already asking for a chunk of your salary yet you probably don't even have a job yet! You get your hustle on, make a living and enjoy your hard earned dimes. No sooner do you move out from your folks' house, than they start prying on your love life. Woe unto you if you are a lady clocking 30 and the only better half you own is your cute little poodle. They hint about marriage, introduce you to potential suitors (who are 99.9% of the time plain weird!).
The cycle continues; then one day you wake up. You're 80, your body has started caving in to old age and you realize you've wasted your life living under the expectations of other people. It's been said that "The pain of waiting is way less than the pain of regret." A very true statement if you ask me. Many a times we wanna grow up so quickly, jump to the next phase of life thinking it'll be more exciting only to realize that we missed out on the beautiful moments in our seasons, which we can never recapture. Honestly, most of the time I find myself dreaming of a happily-ever-after future and cursing the present. I guess frustration drives me to that corner and I end up etching these little scenarios in my head to make my heart feel better.
You see, of late I've been swamped with so much work; it's crazy and particularly overwhelming. So I let my frustrations known to my amazingly charming and wise beau, and his words brought things into perspective. We've got to learn to appreciate every little mountain and valley that comes our way. Of course as you get older, the obstacles get bigger, but your capacity to handle them increases as well, only if you cultivate a teachable spirit and learn to take challenges positively. It's really that simple!
Not forgetting; love who you are, remember that there is beauty in diversity and you are you for a reason. If you've ever read any of my posts you've probably figured that I am a teetotaler and not your ordinary 'Friday night out' party kind'a girl. I'd rather sit at home in the comfort of my gigantic bed with a novel and a mug of coffee. But that's just me. And I love it!!! In other words, find your style, what makes you tick and capitalize on it. Recognize the season you are in, live it out to the max and remember that the present is a gift. Make use of it, have fun, don't spend so much time and energy trying not to do wrong that you forget to do what's right...and there are consequences as well. Newton's third law of motion states that "To every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." So, whenever YOLO becomes your new mantra, remember that.
With reference to the title, you may be wondering what process I am referring to. I don't know about you but I tend to feel that with every stage a person finds themselves at in life, there is always some annoying pressure to move on quickly to the next. I.e, when you're through with high school, they ask, What are you doing with yourself? and no, bumming does not count as an answer. After a gruesome 4 years in a Kenyan high school, even a 2 year holiday would never be enough. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating but point is, you need to be "serious," that is, according to these kith and kin. Then enter campus. The question suddenly becomes, "Utagraduate lini?" And sure enough, you complete college. Time flies.
Before you even get to adjust to life 'out there,' they're already asking for a chunk of your salary yet you probably don't even have a job yet! You get your hustle on, make a living and enjoy your hard earned dimes. No sooner do you move out from your folks' house, than they start prying on your love life. Woe unto you if you are a lady clocking 30 and the only better half you own is your cute little poodle. They hint about marriage, introduce you to potential suitors (who are 99.9% of the time plain weird!).
The cycle continues; then one day you wake up. You're 80, your body has started caving in to old age and you realize you've wasted your life living under the expectations of other people. It's been said that "The pain of waiting is way less than the pain of regret." A very true statement if you ask me. Many a times we wanna grow up so quickly, jump to the next phase of life thinking it'll be more exciting only to realize that we missed out on the beautiful moments in our seasons, which we can never recapture. Honestly, most of the time I find myself dreaming of a happily-ever-after future and cursing the present. I guess frustration drives me to that corner and I end up etching these little scenarios in my head to make my heart feel better.
You see, of late I've been swamped with so much work; it's crazy and particularly overwhelming. So I let my frustrations known to my amazingly charming and wise beau, and his words brought things into perspective. We've got to learn to appreciate every little mountain and valley that comes our way. Of course as you get older, the obstacles get bigger, but your capacity to handle them increases as well, only if you cultivate a teachable spirit and learn to take challenges positively. It's really that simple!
Not forgetting; love who you are, remember that there is beauty in diversity and you are you for a reason. If you've ever read any of my posts you've probably figured that I am a teetotaler and not your ordinary 'Friday night out' party kind'a girl. I'd rather sit at home in the comfort of my gigantic bed with a novel and a mug of coffee. But that's just me. And I love it!!! In other words, find your style, what makes you tick and capitalize on it. Recognize the season you are in, live it out to the max and remember that the present is a gift. Make use of it, have fun, don't spend so much time and energy trying not to do wrong that you forget to do what's right...and there are consequences as well. Newton's third law of motion states that "To every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." So, whenever YOLO becomes your new mantra, remember that.
Saturday, 13 October 2012
Dear Diary...
It's 6:00 a.m. and the weather outside is exceptionally gloomy. So much for the tonnes of sunshine. *sigh* It's probably for the best; the rain, that is. That sun has caused massive damage to this flawless skin of mine, ha!
So...I'm totally feeling reflective at this ungodly hour and switch on my Adele playlist. Yup! You know where I'm headed (smiles!) Okay diary, I've been thinking a lot, you know? (as always) and going down memory lane, I'm just remembering the choices I made in the past, the mistakes too and as some come back clearly in my head, all I can do is cringe! Like was that me? or did some alien invade my medulla oblongata and entire being as well? Somethings just don't add up! But that is life.
All in all, the stupid decisions I made back then taught me a lot. The experiences too gave me an insight as to what life is all about.They taught me that pain is real, heartbreak is real, death is real, sickness is real. I don't think I've ever shed as many tears as I did back then. Gotta commend this tear glands of mine, cheers man. I learnt to live through the different seasons of life and embrace each as it came.
Bittersweet. Sometimes it takes a bad experience to appreciate the good. Adele's lyrics,"...sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..." were my favorite at some point.. (how?!) yet now I barely see the logic in that 'Someone like you' song. Diary? I am now a year older, 9 away from 30. I've learnt to have a teachable spirit, to put God first above all, that friends and family can never be replaced; especially in the pursuit of dreams and careers. Case in point, if *God forbid* you passed on today, a few weeks later your employers would replace you because work must be done. But your family? friends? they would always miss you and would never replace you. So, I think investing in relationships matters more at the end of the day.Period. I've learnt to love unconditionally, to let go when need be and to be the best to those around me.
Honestly, being a young beautiful woman in her early 20's (and no, I'm not bragging!) is no walk in the park. Many men that see me wanna bed me rather than wed me. Numerous girls my age lose themselves in the bottomless pit of alcoholism, drugs and cruel hands of lust; only to lose their identities and lives ultimately. I don't wanna be another statistic, of the girl that "had it" then "lost it." It's easy to smile, wear your Gucci, apply your Elizabeth Arden makeup (which I own by the way! but do I say..)and lie to the world that you're okay. But deep down inside, it's a battle. A battle to wake up and face yet another day. A battle to dry your tears and face your fears.and all those things that threaten to tear you up inside.
NO. Being a young unmarried woman in the 21st century is not easy! But why am I alive? Surely there must be a reason. Stacy Orrico puts it clearly in a song, "...there's gotta be more to life, than chasing about every temporary high to satisfy me..." I believe there must be a great reason for my being alive. Considering the number of times I've "cheated" death (for lack of a better phrase), that reason must be a pretty good one.
Nonetheless, I believe that God created every single person on this planet for a significant purpose. It is up to us, up to me, to find out what it is and live it out for Him. Life may seem difficult at times but the good news is,there's a manual with an answer to every need and it's called the Bible. Also, most importantly, I have a Father in heaven who I can talk to anywhere, anytime, and tell Him anything. He accepts me with all my imperfections and still loves me as I am. And His love for me is the best, most genuine and perfect love there ever is and ever will be!
So my dear diary, despite the hurdles this life may pose, I can face them. I can make it and fulfill my destiny and mission on this beautiful earth. I will make it.
*Kicking away the sheets*** Off to start my day!!
So...I'm totally feeling reflective at this ungodly hour and switch on my Adele playlist. Yup! You know where I'm headed (smiles!) Okay diary, I've been thinking a lot, you know? (as always) and going down memory lane, I'm just remembering the choices I made in the past, the mistakes too and as some come back clearly in my head, all I can do is cringe! Like was that me? or did some alien invade my medulla oblongata and entire being as well? Somethings just don't add up! But that is life.
All in all, the stupid decisions I made back then taught me a lot. The experiences too gave me an insight as to what life is all about.They taught me that pain is real, heartbreak is real, death is real, sickness is real. I don't think I've ever shed as many tears as I did back then. Gotta commend this tear glands of mine, cheers man. I learnt to live through the different seasons of life and embrace each as it came.
Bittersweet. Sometimes it takes a bad experience to appreciate the good. Adele's lyrics,"...sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..." were my favorite at some point.. (how?!) yet now I barely see the logic in that 'Someone like you' song. Diary? I am now a year older, 9 away from 30. I've learnt to have a teachable spirit, to put God first above all, that friends and family can never be replaced; especially in the pursuit of dreams and careers. Case in point, if *God forbid* you passed on today, a few weeks later your employers would replace you because work must be done. But your family? friends? they would always miss you and would never replace you. So, I think investing in relationships matters more at the end of the day.Period. I've learnt to love unconditionally, to let go when need be and to be the best to those around me.
Honestly, being a young beautiful woman in her early 20's (and no, I'm not bragging!) is no walk in the park. Many men that see me wanna bed me rather than wed me. Numerous girls my age lose themselves in the bottomless pit of alcoholism, drugs and cruel hands of lust; only to lose their identities and lives ultimately. I don't wanna be another statistic, of the girl that "had it" then "lost it." It's easy to smile, wear your Gucci, apply your Elizabeth Arden makeup (which I own by the way! but do I say..)and lie to the world that you're okay. But deep down inside, it's a battle. A battle to wake up and face yet another day. A battle to dry your tears and face your fears.and all those things that threaten to tear you up inside.
NO. Being a young unmarried woman in the 21st century is not easy! But why am I alive? Surely there must be a reason. Stacy Orrico puts it clearly in a song, "...there's gotta be more to life, than chasing about every temporary high to satisfy me..." I believe there must be a great reason for my being alive. Considering the number of times I've "cheated" death (for lack of a better phrase), that reason must be a pretty good one.
Nonetheless, I believe that God created every single person on this planet for a significant purpose. It is up to us, up to me, to find out what it is and live it out for Him. Life may seem difficult at times but the good news is,there's a manual with an answer to every need and it's called the Bible. Also, most importantly, I have a Father in heaven who I can talk to anywhere, anytime, and tell Him anything. He accepts me with all my imperfections and still loves me as I am. And His love for me is the best, most genuine and perfect love there ever is and ever will be!
So my dear diary, despite the hurdles this life may pose, I can face them. I can make it and fulfill my destiny and mission on this beautiful earth. I will make it.
*Kicking away the sheets*** Off to start my day!!
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Just glad I didn't...
Just saw this blast from the past, a piece I wrote during my journey of self discovery a few years ago. Enjoy!
You came my way,you promised me the world
you promised me the moon and the stars,
that you would cross the oceans for me
you declared your undying love for me
you swore to be by my side day and night
...blah blah blah...
the list was endless....
You told me how much you loved me
you said I would make the perfect wife,
no...your perfect wife,
all you wanted was me...
To me, you seemed and sounded sincere
You met me wen I had no heart;
I cared less about what you felt or thought
but the sacrifices you were willing to make
touched a soft spot in what was left of me..
...I thought twice,but I'm just glad I didn't love you..
All of a sudden,you changed so drastically-it almost frightened me,
you didn't want me anymore..
not that I did anything wrong,but you were too full of yourself,
yet too afraid..
It didn't even hurt me at all
because I didn't give any bit of me to you..
Just glad I didn't let myself fall in love with you...
Then as I journeyed through this lovely life of mine,
y'all came my way....
you asked me to join your crowd
to do what everyone else did
to ''fit in'' and walk in the shadows under which you all did...
My gut told me I shouldn't
when I chose not to walk those same steps you followed,
y'all hated me and told me that I was being self-centered
you said I was selfish and extremely egotistical
you started hating me and sidelining me...
only because I didn't do what you wanted..
With time, I learnt that there was more to life,
I found myself, I learnt to hold my own,
Like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon,
I wrestled and wriggled and freed myself from my internal battles,
I learnt to appreciate the beauty in life,
to love, to hold, to cherish, to care..
All of which I would never have known if I stayed with you.
I'm only so glad I didn't....
By Rita Kay.
(Aug '10)
You came my way,you promised me the world
you promised me the moon and the stars,
that you would cross the oceans for me
you declared your undying love for me
you swore to be by my side day and night
...blah blah blah...
the list was endless....
You told me how much you loved me
you said I would make the perfect wife,
no...your perfect wife,
all you wanted was me...
To me, you seemed and sounded sincere
You met me wen I had no heart;
I cared less about what you felt or thought
but the sacrifices you were willing to make
touched a soft spot in what was left of me..
...I thought twice,but I'm just glad I didn't love you..
All of a sudden,you changed so drastically-it almost frightened me,
you didn't want me anymore..
not that I did anything wrong,but you were too full of yourself,
yet too afraid..
It didn't even hurt me at all
because I didn't give any bit of me to you..
Just glad I didn't let myself fall in love with you...
Then as I journeyed through this lovely life of mine,
y'all came my way....
you asked me to join your crowd
to do what everyone else did
to ''fit in'' and walk in the shadows under which you all did...
My gut told me I shouldn't
when I chose not to walk those same steps you followed,
y'all hated me and told me that I was being self-centered
you said I was selfish and extremely egotistical
you started hating me and sidelining me...
only because I didn't do what you wanted..
With time, I learnt that there was more to life,
I found myself, I learnt to hold my own,
Like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon,
I wrestled and wriggled and freed myself from my internal battles,
I learnt to appreciate the beauty in life,
to love, to hold, to cherish, to care..
All of which I would never have known if I stayed with you.
I'm only so glad I didn't....
By Rita Kay.
(Aug '10)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)